Vontae Davis Is Cleared By Illinois Police, Travels Back to the Future

The Champaign Illinois Police Department, unable to comprehend the mind-thumping complexities of time-travel, have cleared Vontae Davis from any charges of egregiously excessive noise and operating a motor vehicle with an invalid license.

As for VD2, the alternate reality Vontae Davis from a different time and place, he seemingly has been able to venture back to the place from whence he came, leaving thousands of scientists in our time in a bewildered stupor desperately trying to make sense of it all.

We can only hope that VD2 will return one day to help us during our greatest time of need, and not merely to pester the eardrums of Illinois residents.

Or is VD2 but a prelude of our impending demise?

Oh ****...