Fins FTW! Miami Dolphins Blog

Random Things That Can Catch a Football Better Than Ted Ginn

2010-02-17T18:37:00.000-08:00

[NOTE: I originally wrote this following the infamous Saints game, however I got lazy trying to write a caption for each image. Being that I am still too lazy to write captions for these images, I will just post it as is. Enjoy!]

Ted Ginn Jr. is a professional. He gets paid three million four hundred twenty-four thousand six hundred and eighty dollars a year by the Miami Dolphins to do one simple task - catch a leather, oblong-shaped ball while running at a fast rate of speed. While he is quite adept at jaunting across the field at a high velocity, he fails in the most important aspect of his job - catching.

You see, Ted Ginn is a receiver. At least that is what his job description reads. The definition of a receiver is "one who receives something." The act of receiving entails collecting an item and maintaining it in one's possession. This is a concept that Ginn does not appear to grasp. Kind of like a football... Ever.

So while Ginn continues to cash a paycheck that he certainly doesn't earn, I will list some other people and things that would quite likely do as a good a job of catching a football as he does.

Without further ado...

#14: An Actual Dolphin

Dolphins are incredibly graceful and intelligent. As such, they are able to grasp difficult concepts and can be trained to perform a variety of tricks, including catching a ball - an ability that has thwarted Ted Ginn for so long. During a rain game at Landshark Stadium, an actual dolphin might serve as a exceptional replacement for Ginn. Heck, if I were Dolphins' owner Stephen Ross, I might just petition the league to install a giant Slip and Slide across the field for just this purpose.

#13: John Kerry

While John Kerry is more known for botching elections, he has also had his Ginnish moments with a football. While on the campaign trail (and on his way to failing epically in losing the election to one of the most unpopular Presidents of all time) in 2004, Kerry showed his skills with the pigskin. You can take a look at some of his greatest moments on the gridiron right here.

#12: Bill Buckner

#11: A Pepsi Machine

#10: Darren Sharper

# 9: Edward Scissorhands

#8: An Oiled-Up Fabio

#7: A Flying Squirrel

#6: USA Volleyball Star Logan Tom

#5: A Butterfinger Candy Bar

#4: Stephen Hawking

#3: The Arby's Mitt

#2: The Gum Under Your Shoe

#1: A Colony of Lepers

"Fire Sparano!"

2009-12-01T07:29:00.001-08:00

This is a message to the "Fire Sparano" crowd...

Do you go to your boss and ask to be fired every time you have a bad day of work? If not, get off it. Do you realize the Miami Dolphins' loss to the Buffalo Bills was the FIRST time the Dolphins have lost to an obviously inferior team under his stewardship? Yes, in 27 tries, this was the first time you can honestly say his decisions and his coaching was responsible for his team's loss to a crappy team. Yet you want him fired?

Do you realize how many hall of fame coaches have lost to inferior teams during their career? You can look no further than next week's opponent. Yes, even the hallowed Bill Belichick has suffered the indignation of getting beatdown by an inferior opponent. One of those losses even came against our craphole of team back in 2004. AJ FREAKING FEELEY beat his SUPERBOWL TEAM on NATIONAL TELEVISION. Sound the alarms! FIRE BELICHICK!

Could you imagine what would have become of the Patriots under Belichick, the Steelers under Cowher, or the Giants under Coughlin if the owners followed the advice of toolbag fans each time they had a poor performance? They wouldn't have Superbowl rings, that's for sure.

Go down the list, EVERY Superbowl winning coach has had some stinkers of games. Belichick has had plenty, even during his dynasty years... Buffalo in 2003, Miami in 2004. Cowher was notorious for choking in the playoffs. Coughlin was on his last legs before the 2007 SB winning season.

What do all of these teams have in common?

PATIENCE!

Patience is apparently a virtue long forgotten by NFL fans, but it is still essential for the success of a franchise. Developing a championship team is still a process. It's not instant oatmeal.

This same team is two years removed from ONE and frickin-frackin FIFTEEN. Do you expect the Lions to win a Superbowl next year? If not, why in the hell would you expect the Dolphins to win one this year? Yes, we all want this to happen, but most of us realize we still need more talent to have it all come together.

Another thing you must take into account is that this team is essentially a M*A*S*H unit at this point... FIVE of the most important players are out for the SEASON. You would have to be delusional to believe an already flawed team would be blowing teams out of the water with a roster missing its centerpieces...

Now, if you must still chant from the rooftops "Fire Sparano! Fire Sparano!", please share with us your brilliant strategy of replacing him with a coach that DOESN'T put up a stinker every once in a while and will have the Dolphins winning Superbowls in Year One. I'm all ears.

In Honor of Ted Ginn

2009-10-26T00:03:00.000-07:00

I will continue to post this image of Ted Ginn every week until he doesn't fuck up... So basically, for the rest of the season.

BIG PICTURE: Dolphins Built for 2010

2009-10-25T22:53:00.000-07:00

After every loss, we Dolphin fans begin to feel like the Balloon Boy hiding in the basement as the season floats away - waiting for the embarrassing spectacle to cease. Like little Falcon Heene, some might vomit in disgust. Twice. On national television - all over one of Stephen Ross's newest celebrity owners. However, It is important to remember that nothing is ever as bad as it seems after a loss. And nothing is ever as good as it seems after a win.

The truth is, this team wasn't designed to make a huge playoff push this season. Yes, we all had high hopes coming off one of the best turnaround seasons in NFL history, but the original plan did not include a Super Bowl run this soon after the mess that was inherited. The original plan consisted of earning the title of "Contender" in 2010, not 2009. From much of what the team has displayed this season, it surely feels like they are on the way to accomplishing just that.

As evidenced by the losses this season, the Dolphins are not yet ready to hang with the elite. However, they are pretty damn close. A few Ted Ginn bobbled non-catches close. When you examine the tape, the 2-4 Dolphins were probably the most difficult wins for two currently undefeated teams.

Remember, Bill Parcells even mentioned during the offseason that the 2009 Dolphins would be better than 2008's squad, but would likely have a worse record. I think we all braced ourselves for that reality prior to the season, but of course, with every win and loss our perspective of expectations change. In all likelihood, this is a 7-9, 8-8 or 9-7 team with the schedule that they were handed.

However, all is not lost for this season. If the Dolphins manage to win the next two games - gargantuan divisional games - they have a real good shot at the playoffs. Even if they do get in, don't expect much. This team isn't ready yet.

Thank you Captain Obvious!

Good news? The plan is being fulfilled. Most of the major pieces that were needed during the post-Cameron overhaul of the Dolphins have been filled, and with a year of seasoning, they should be in prime position for a dominant season in 2010.

There are only a few pieces that need to be added in order for this to be accomplished, and most are glaringly obvious.

A Starting Wide Receiver (that has hands, or some appendages capable of holding onto an oval object)
A Safety (that can tackleand not get abused by Tight Ends)
A pass catching TE (that doesn't fumble incessantly)
An Inside Linebacker (that can actually touch the football once in his lifetime and that can cover a Tight End)
A Nose Tackle (to take over for Big Ferg)

Other than those positions listed above, only depth is truly needed to complete the team. With a very deep draft, this list can quite easily be fulfilled.

Even without the upgrades, there should be some addition by subtraction. You must consider that a Dolphins team without Ted Ginn on the roster is good for at least two more wins a year.

So, Dolphin fans, before you try to run the best thing to happen to this franchise since Shula out of town, please consider the plan and take note of the positive direction the team is taking toward fulfilling the plan.

As for this season?

SWEEP THE JETS!

And enjoy the ride...

Fins Bits: Carolina Panthers @ Miami Dolphins | Preseason Week 2

2009-08-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

Talk of plagues, sporadic storms, fallen heroes and muffed punts made tonight's game a most apocalyptic affair. Thankfully, the second coming of the Wildcat staved off the locusts. Overall, it was a pretty decent showing for the Dolphins. Both the first team offense and defense looked solid. Even their understudies looked sharp. However, the special teams unit appeared to be the antithesis of its name.

Quick Hits:

The Second Coming
The wildcat is back to its old tricks. A year later, and the same old "gimmick" plays still appear to be as effective as ever - during preseason at least. As Bob Griese pointed out, the Dolphins reenacted a highlight reel of last year's most successful wildcat plays. There are sure to be some new 'Cat plays in the bag just waiting to be released once the games count for real. Now, can they gain more than -2 yards against a fast, heavy pressure defense like the Ravens? That's the real question.

The Fall of Return Man
Chris Williams went from hero to zero. When your only gig on the team is to catch kicks and run with them, it doesn't bode well for your job prospects when you try to catch the ball with your face mask. Williams muffed, Sparano got miffed, and for that, he may get whacked.

I think Williams has some talent as a returner. He definitely has the quickness and moves to weave his way through the chaos, but the most important aspect of the position is to ensure that the ball never ends up in the opponent's hands. Unfortunately for Williams, he failed on that count. Williams has muffed the ball in each of his preseason auditions. He might be receiving the Eric Green treatment soon to send yet another message to the team.

P-P-Pressure
I'm not sure if quarterbacks get to listen to music through the fancy radio equipment in their helmets, but tonight the Carolina Panthers' QBs could hear Freddie Mercury blaring through their head set loud and clear. UNDER PRESSURE! While there may not have been any sacks listed on the stat sheet, the dolphins were applying heavy pressure throughout the game causing the Panthers to make errant throws on several occasions. Jason Taylor, Channing Crowder, Joey Porter, Cameron Wake, Phillip Merling, Quentin Moses, Jason Ferguson and others were constantly in the backfield.

Vontae's Redemption
Looks like Vontae Davis and Chris Williams have been playing on the preseason see-saw. Gravity was kinder to Davis on this night. Davis recovered from a mistake-prone showing last Monday to redeem himself and show the promise that everyone expected of him. He made several solid one-on-one tackles on receivers in the flat and he covered his man well, not giving up any large gains that I recall. In Sean Smith's absence, Davis was able to possibly gain some ground on the competition for the starting spot. However, at this juncture, Smith still has the edge in the competition in my opinion.

BTW, Mr. Griese, with all due respect, let the kid celebrate his success. Griese was beginning to sound like Dennis the Menace's neighbor out there. As long as Davis isn't starting a Conga line and hiding Landshark beers in his pants to chug after each play, I am cool with a little bit of enthusiasm from the rookie.

Wide Receivers Immune to Swine Flu?
The cornerbacks should hang out with the wide receivers more often... Because they can't catch a cold! Ba Dum Dum! Ok, my jokes suck. But so did the receivers tonight. Almost every receiver had a drop - even the sure-handed Davone Bess. In fact, the running backs were the best pass catchers on the field. This unit has a lot of work to do this week.

Ronnie Brown Getting in Gear
Ronnie Brown looked in mid-season form. He was carving up the Panthers defense out of traditional formations and got some good work in orchestrating his patented wildcat offense. He also made a beauty of a reception and punched it in for the only touchdown of the Chad Pennington-led Dolphins. I am excited to see what Ronnie can do in his second year of this system. I just hope the front office locks him up for a few more years.

Tyrannosaurus Lex
Like the giant reptiles that once roamed in his home of Montana, Lex Hilliard was a force to be reckoned with. The former Montana Grizzly showed a surprising combination of grit, power and speed that could make it difficult for the Dolphins to stash him on the practice squad for the second year in a row. There will be some tough decisions to make in a few weeks. If Hilliard continues to impress, the Dolphins may opt to keep four running backs on the roster. Considering the fact that the Dolphins are a run-heavy team, especially with their wildcat packages, it may be in their best interests to keep the young back on the squad in favor of a sixth wide receiver.

Chad Henne Passed the Test
Coach Sparano swapped Pat White and Chad Henne to see if Henne could close out a game. Henne not only secured the victory, he did it in a precise and efficient manner that would make Chad Pennington proud. He wasn't perfect, putting two balls on the ground (which were thankfully recovered by Dolphins), but he lead the team down the field for several scoring drives throughout the second half. He picked apart the field in the same surgical manner that Dr. Pennington often does. There is still definitely some work to do, especially that quarterback/center exchange, but Henne looks very comfortable in the offense and should function efficiently should the Dolphins need his services at any point this season.

Next Week: @ Tampa Bay

Dolphins Out with the Swine Flu?

2009-08-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

Reports out of Miami say that cornerbacks Sean Smith and Jason Allen will miss tonight's game due to illness and are currently undergoing tests to see if they have a case of the Swine Flu. However, Smith's agent stated that these rumors are incorrect and that his client is simply ill - like every day stomach flu ill, not the Porky Pig variety.

Whatever the case may be, this illness has left the remaining players in the secondary to re-enact a small scale version of Stephen King's The Stand. Now it is a matter of seeing if they will follow the light or succumb to the darkness.

UPDATE: Already, members of the media are suggesting that fans not attend practices or games out of fear of contracting the infamous Swine Flu. Hysteria or prudence? I vote hysteria. But then again, perhaps I will live to regret that when my neck swells up to the size of a tree trunk and I choke to death on my own mucus...

Catch of the Week: Sean Smith & Sexy Dolphins Fans

2009-08-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

Now that the season is finally here, it is time to bring back one of our most popular features. Every week we will bring you the most spectacular catch of the game and and sexy gal for no particular reason. Shamelessly gratuitous eye candy.

The first "Catch of the Week" was to feature rookie Sean Smith's beautiful interception against the Jaguars, but sadly, I could not find a single video of that particular play. So instead, a video of one of Smith's most memorable collegiate interceptions will have to suffice. In addition, you will see an exclusive clip of a Miami Dolphins owner performing a scintillating quasi-striptease.

Below are some of the hottest Miami Dolphins fans found on the internet:

Eric Green Hits the Unemployment Line

2009-08-19T21:45:00.000-07:00

When I mentioned in the preview of the Jags game that whoever made Troy "No Hands" Williamson look good was facing a demotion, I never dreamed that they may also be out of a job. But that is precisely what happened. Only two days after making one of the worst wide receivers in the league look like an all-pro, Eric Green was sent to the unemployment line.

The move is surprising in the sense Green was one of the bigger free agent acquisitions that the Dolphins made this year and they were so quick to dismiss him. Contrast that with last year's handling of Ernest Wilford whom they brought on to start at wide receiver and barely played a snap all year. In Wilford's case, it was evident he wouldn't be a big contributor to the team early on, however, he stuck anyway. Perhaps the investment in Wilford was simply too large to afford cutting him. Not so with Green, who was unceremoniously released following a single poor showing in the preseason.

The timing is curious. Why the hurry to cut a player at a position with seemingly so little depth? In my opinion, it was a move to send a message. Green played a terrible game against Jacksonville, allowing Williamson to make several big gains. Even the much-maligned Jason Allen performed better than him. With this move, Sparano sent every under-performing player on the squad an alarming message...

"Eric Green sleeps with the fish?"

Indeed.

HIGHLIGHTS: Jacksonville Jaguars @ Miami Dolphins Preseason Week 1

2009-08-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

The debut of FinsFTWTV. Some highlights from last night's game. Check it.

Join the Fins FTW Fantasy Football League

2009-08-17T22:41:00.000-07:00

This cute little guy will cry if you don't...

You wouldn't want him to cry now would you? Heartless bastard...
Learn how to join HERE

Fins Bits: Jaguars @ Dolphins

2009-08-17T20:46:00.001-07:00

The first faux game of the season is in the books and the Dolphins have a lot of work ahead of them. Even though they did have some success on the field and came away with a much coveted W, there was still plenty of slop on the field - and I'm not just talking about the pig pen formerly known as the Marlin's infield.

I will have some more in depth analysis later in the week, but for now, these little nuggets will have to suffice.

Quick Hits:

Remember when I said that whoever made Troy "No Hands" Williamson look good during this game would be facing a demotion? Vontae, I'm looking at you... Good thing there are still three more faux games to redeem yourself. Unfortunately, VD2 isn't around any more to help you.

Ricky was looking like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi out there slithering through defenders. Yoga does a body good.

I have a feeling that millions of Dolphins fans will suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following the aural assault that will be unleashed upon them throughout the season... Fins to the left, Fins to the right... Its been ONE game and I am almost going mad with this tune bouncing around my cranium. Throw in an auto-tuned version of one of the hokiest songs of all time, and its enough to drive any sane man absolutely bat**** crazy.

Fear the Reaper... and the Redzone too. The Dolphins killed a few impressive drives with stupidity, miscues, and missed opportunities. You know Sparano won't stand for this kind of crap in such a crucial situation. Look for a ton of redzone work as they prepare for the Panthers next Saturday.

Sean Smith, Mr. Fantastic. My pick for NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year. Ya, it is probably the homer in me talking, but this guy looks good. He looked like the intended receiver during his picturesque pick in the endzone. One thing is for sure - he has put a super-sized stranglehold on the starting cornerback spot opposite Will Allen. It will take some pretty crummy performances going forward for him to lose it now.

Chris Williams looked Looney Tunes out there on special teams. Roadrunner. Speedy Gonzalez. Take your pick. Anything but Pepe Le Pew - well, maybe in the first quarter, but he got it going pretty smoothly after a few hiccups there. Kid's got wheels. But does he have enough to stick on as WR given the competition? Which brings me to...

The wide receiver competition is going to resemble an all-out MMA brawl pretty soon as guys near the bottom half begin to scramble for their lives. There will probably only be 5 spots for receivers on this roster. Ted Ginn, Davone Bess and Greg Camarillo should be safe. But that leaves Patrick Turner, Brian Hartline, Chris Williams and Brandon London battling out for the last two spots. That's some tough competition as each of them has been showing a lot of promise throughout camp and during the Jags game.

Ernest Wilford goes to... the Endzone? Yes, it happened. Your eyes did not deceive you. Bad news? ITS FARKING PRESEASON! Don't expect this to save his job...

Not bad, Chad Henne. He put together some nice little drives in there, although he did make his share of dumb plays too. But overall, he looked a lot more poised, even by preseason standards, than some of the turds the Dolphins have trotted out there in years past.

Pat White needs to bulk up. While he is as quick as a cat, he is as scrawny as one too. Like Mr. Bigglesworth of Austin Powers' fame scrawny... He will have to add a few pounds of muscle to that frame if he ever hopes to become a viable NFL quarterback.

Overall, it was a decent first showing from the defending AFC East champs. Now, they must work on cleaning up some of their sloppy penalties and improve upon the strides they made in this game for their next faux matchup against the Carolina Panthers on Saturday.

FREE Wallpaper: Jason Taylor

2009-08-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Commemorate Jason Taylor's return to the Miami Dolphins by using this free Miami Dolphins Jason Taylor Wallpaper.

DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Jason Taylor Desktop Schedule
DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Jason Taylor Wallpaper
DOWNLOAD Jason Taylor Sig Pic

Fins Watch: 3 Things to Keep an Eye On Vs. Jaguars Preseason Week 1

2009-08-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

As the Dolphins take the field for the first time in 7 months and 13 days (Hmm, any significance in those numbers, superstitious fans?), there are several story lines and positions worth monitoring as they gear up for the for-real games starting September 10th in Atlanta.

#1: Which player will rise up to claim the starting cornerback position opposite Will Allen?

Head Coach Tony Sparano has made it no secret that the "So You Think You Can Start?" sweepstakes is about to make its television debut and features a battle between highly-drafted rookies Vontae Davis, Sean Smith and veteran free agent acquisition Eric Green.

Unlike a largely scripted reality TV show, this competition will be won simply by the man who makes the most plays on the field and in camp during the next several weeks. The competition begins in earnest tomorrow night when each player will be given the opportunity to show their wares against opponents in a live game situation for the first time.

Outside of veteran Torry Holt, the Jags don't have many receiving weapons, unless you consider Troy "No Hands" Williamson a receiving threat, which this video surely proves otherwise. So this should not be much of a test for the trio of CB contestants.

If any of them allow for a big play by catch-challenged Williamson, they will face humiliation at the hands of a despondent British has-been on the judging panel. Wait, wrong show. They will feel the wrath of someone much more fearsome - Coach Tony Sparano. And likely a demotion as well.

#2: Is there depth at Nose Tackle?

In my opinion, this position holds the key to the entire season. If Jason Ferguson can remain healthy and effective, the defensive unit should be able to improve from last year's largely impressive performance to become one of the league's best. However, if anything should happen to Big Ferg, and no man is able to fill his massive shoes, the Dolphins defense could turn into leaky spaghetti strainer overnight.

The only insurance policy that the Dolphins really have on the dogged old vet is one of the last remaining artifacts of the Cam Cameron regime - Paul Soliai. At 6'4 and weighing in at an impressive 355 lbs., Soliai has the build necessary to man the keystone position on the defense. However, throughout his career in Miami, Soliai has remained an enigmatic presence. The coaches tend to break into song, performing a stirring rendition of Katy Perry's "Hot n' Cold", whenever they speak about the Samoan defensive tackle. He's hot and he's cold, he's up and he's down, he's in and he's out. If Soliai had wondrous cleavage like Ms. Perry, I might be more forgiving of his inconsistent performance, but alas he does not.

In addition to Soliai, the Dolphins hope that Randy Starks might be able to help fill the important role. Unfortunately, large sports utility vehicles filled to capacity with scantidly clad women are not eligible to assist him on the field of play.

Look for Soliai and Starks to get plenty of work tomorrow and throughout the preseason as the Dolphins will try to save the elder Ferguson for the regular season.

#3: The future of the Phins on display

Monday night might be our first real glimpse at the future of the Miami Dolphins - 2010 and beyond. Perhaps there is no more important piece of that promising future than one Chad Henne. Sparano has stated several times that Henne will receive quite a bit of work during the preseason in order to see how he handles things such as halftime adjustments and other dramatic scenarios that arise during an entire NFL game. Henne will receive plenty of work with the first team offense, allowing Dolphins fans to get their first real look at the offense of the future.

In addition to Chad Henne, the Dolphins faithful might also catch a sneak peak of Wildcat 2.0 or the WildPat / WhiteCat offense. It will be interesting to see if the Dolphins coaching staff will tip their hand during the preseason on how they might utilize their multi-purpose player, but the fans and media will be craving some kind of White Wildcat action. Even if he doesn't make his debut in the Dolphins' signature offensive set on Monday, White will see plenty of action at QB where he will likely play during the entire 4th quarter.

There will be a variety of rookies and young players making major contributions versus the Jaguars. It will be our first real look at players we all hope will become stars and major contributors for the Dolphins in the next few years. With exciting new players like Vontae Davis, Sean Smith, Pat Turner, and Cameron Wake to look out for, this should be quite an entertaining game for those hoping to see what the future has in store for the Miami Dolphins. Who knows, maybe VD2 might even make an appearance...

---

So which player are you most looking forward to seeing in the Dolphins' first preseason game?

Out of the Office Until Tuesday

2009-08-05T18:14:00.001-07:00

Fins FTW is shutting down for a few days as I have to travel up north to Big Sky Country to attend a wedding and visit with family. I won't be able to update the blog from up there. I still might be tweeting from my mobile if time permits.

Check out Tin's Fins blog for some great camp reporting.

I know this puts a kink in my training camp reporting, but I promise to have some great new content for you guys next week. I will really be ramping it up for the preseason and the start of the season.

For now, I will leave you with a word from the Miami Dolphins...

Miami Dolphins Training Camp Day 2 Round-Up

2009-08-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no camp report for Day 2. Here's a funny video instead...

Miami Dolphins Training Camp Day 1 Round-Up

2009-08-03T21:22:00.001-07:00

Miami Dolphins Training Camp 2009 opened with a splash. Fans swarmed the Davie practice field in a scene that was reminiscent of victory parade with thousands of dolfanatics flocking to the scene. Fans lined each level of the nearby parking garage to catch a glimpse of the proceedings. That loving feeling is finally back in Dolphin land... Can it last? Let's hope so...

Since I cannot physically be in Davie this year, I will try to compile some links to some of the best reports and pictures of each day of camp. Although, if any of you enterprising fans out there want to bring a webcam out to the stands and stream the sessions to me live, I would be happier than a pig in Buffalo.

I will also select the winners and losers of each day of camp.

Without further ado....

Day 1 Winner: PATRICK TURNER

By several accounts, Patrick Turner put on quite a show for the enthralled crowd. Being a receiver, it is crucial that he actually makes receptions - something that has been difficult at times for Dolphins' receivers over the past few years. At least for one day, this was not an issue for Turner who caught everything thrown his way including an underthrown pass from Chad Pennington.

Turner also juked a poor cornerback out of his shorts and ran the distance for a TD sending the oversized crowd into jubilation. Keep it up rook!

Day 1 Loser: CAMERON WAKE

Unfortunately, the "beast" as proclaimed by yours truly got handled by rookie 6th round pick Andrew Gardner who might as well have been a giant sofa come to life since Cameron Wake's ass couldn't get off him. I am still hopeful that Wake will turn things on as camp progresses. If not, we better hope Jason Taylor comes back with a vengeance.

Camp Reports:

Fan Camp Pictures:

[If you would like to submit CAMP REPORTS or CAMP PICS please email me at FinsFTW@gmail.com]

ALL Draft Picks Signed!

2009-08-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

I should have kept going with my original hunch. Ireland and Parcells DON'T **** AROUND when it comes to signing their draft picks before camp!

On the eve of training camp, Pat White and Chris Clemons, the remaining two unsigned rookies, got a visit from the "family" and got things inked and squared away in time to begin (what is sure to be) grueling Training Camp.

Keep posted for Training Camp reports throughout the next month.

Can you smell that? Ya, its a sweaty jockstrap. Football season is almost upon us!

Pat White Could Hold Out

2009-07-31T23:12:00.000-07:00

Even as I proclaimed via Twitter that Jeff Ireland and Bill Parcells "don't **** around" when it comes to getting their draft picks signed in time for training camp, it appears that the apple of their collective eyes is poised for a holdout according to PFT.

The hangup appears to be due to the fact that White and his agent are seeking different incentives other than those generally given to QBs taken in the second round since they believe (and likely correctly) that White will not be utilized like any other QB drafted in the second round.

Due to his role as "Wildcat Specialist" and Chad Henne's apparent strangehold on the position of QB of the future, White is looking to add on some incentives that would reward him for his unique role in the offense should he become successful in that capacity. And I can't say I blame him...

Hopefully this is resolved shortly so we can all get a sneak peak at Wildcat 2.0.

[Might as well grab your Miami Wildcat shirt while you still can! lol.]

Vontae Davis (of OUR Dimension) Has Signed a 5 Year Deal with the Dolphins

2009-07-31T07:23:00.001-07:00

The second half of the Dolphins promising rookie cornerback duo has inked a five year deal worth something around 10 Million considering the contracts signed by the picks taken immediately before and after him in the 2009 draft.

This move ensures that Vontae Davis, along with rookie Sean Smith, will both be reporting for the first day of camp. Their presence during the entirety of training camp will be crucial as they both hope to solidify the young secondary. Will Allen and the coaching staff will have ample time to prepare them for the coming season.

No word yet if VD2, Vontae's alternate reality persona has come to terms in a backup capacity should anything happen to our Vontae.

REMINDER: Join the FTW Fantasy Football League

2009-07-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Yours truly has been incommunicado for the past few days. A little warning in advance, I will be once again without access to cyber dolphinland from next Thursday to Sunday as I will be attending a wedding, but I promise to have some fresh new content for you all to sink your teeth into before then.

And of course, with training camp fast approaching, there will be PLENTY to discuss... FINALLY!

But for now, just a simple reminder that we are still taking new members to join the exclusive FTWFL!

Read HERE for more details.

FREE Wallpaper: Ted Ginn Jr.

2009-07-22T01:01:00.000-07:00

Today's Miami Dolphins Wallpaper features starting WR Ted Ginn Jr. Does he have what it takes to become a legit number 1 receiver in the NFL? Discuss HERE.

There are two versions, one with the 2009 schedule and one without. Your choice. As of right now, I only made one in this size. If you would like another wallpaper size, please comment in this thread with your desired resolution size.

DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Ted Ginn Jr. Wallpaper
DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Ted Ginn Jr. Desktop Schedule
DOWNLOAD Ted Ginn Jr. Sig Pic

Like these? Please leave a comment! Thanks.

Great Davone Bess Interview - 17 Minutes Long

2009-07-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

Tin_Shaker was kind enough to edit down an hour-long recorded interview that Davone recently did in Hawaii down to 17 minutes for us Dol-fans to enjoy.

Its a great interview with a lot of interesting information on Davone's relationship with Chad Pennington and much more.

And LOL at Davone's reaction to Twitter. He mentions that he will not press charges against Lambo_Weezy.

Check it out HERE.

Can Ted Ginn Become a TRUE #1 Receiver in '09?

2009-07-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

In my opinion, the litmus test for a starting wide receiver in the NFL is their ability to surpass 1,000 yards in a season. Of course, this is often dependent on factors outside of a receiver's control, such as having a QB hand selected by Dave Wannstedt or Cam Cameron throwing them the ball.

Fortunately for Ted Ginn, this is no longer a problem, as Chad Pennington is in the upper echelon of NFL quarterbacks. Although, Pennington's lack of superior arm strength could hinder Ginn from truly using his greatest asset, that being his speed.

However, that shouldn't serve as an excuse this season.

Blazing speed alone does not make a number one receiver. Superior route running and the ability to rack up YAK...

err... YAC (Yards After Catch) do.

Ginn almost doubled his rookie yardage last year ending with 790 yards receiving, up from 420 in 2007. However, he finished with the same meager amount of touchdowns - Two.

If Ginn can double his 2008 stats for 2009, I think we can finally consider him a true number one.

So what do you think? Will Ted show enough in 2009 to entrench himself atop the Miami Dolphins roster?

---

Introducing the FTW Fantasy Football League

2009-07-20T12:48:00.001-07:00

Its that time again...

Get out your epic axes, spell books, and wizard caps because its time for FANTASY FOOTBALL!

Fins FTW is mounting its first annual fantasy football league dubbed the FTWFL on Yahoo.com.

The league will feature 18 players duking it out each week to gain epic loot and notoriety across the land.

The FTWFL Champion will receive:

1 Custom Wallpaper or Graphic
1 Free Banner Ad or Link to your personal website, blog, or business
Internet Bragging Rights

So how do you sign up?

Its simple. Simply leave a comment on this thread, tweet me @FinsFTW or email me at FinsFTW@gmail.com with a reason why you should be considered for the league.

State how many years of FF experience you have, make a blood oath promising that you shall not abandon the league even if you are staring a winless season in the face, or something like that. Basically, just convince me that you are a serious player. I don't want to be going against a guy starting a player with a season ending injury come Week 5.

There are only 17 spots (I have already occupied one of the spots in the 18 team league), so apply today.

Once you have been selected, I will email or tweet you the league info and password so that you can join up.

Dolphins Approach Ronnie Brown About Contract Extension

2009-07-19T20:53:00.001-07:00

According to the Miami Herald, the Miami Dolphins have approached Ronnie Brown's agent Todd France in an attempt to get the Pro Bowl running back and wildcat specialist signed to a contract extension which would keep him in the aqua and orange (some say teal and coral is the actual Dolphins' color scheme, but that just doesn't have the same ring to it) for several more years.

As mentioned previously, Brown's rookie contract expires at the conclusion of the 2009 season.

Getting Brown signed to an extension before the season makes sense on a couple of levels.

For one, he would likely come at a cheaper price now than he would after the season, as all signs point to him building upon the Pro Bowl season he had last year now that he is two seasons removed from ACL surgery and is more comfortable with the current offensive scheme.

If Brown mounted yet another Pro Bowl effort this season, he would automatically become the number one target by teams looking for help in their backfield via free agency. In such a scenario, The Dolphins would be unlikely to outbid other teams for the services of a running back, since history shows that the Parcells regime tends to skimp a bit when it comes to that position.

Secondly, it would allow Brown to play fast and loose right from the start. While often times it is said that players play their best and their hardest in a contract year in order to secure a big pay day in free agency, this might not be the best strategy for a player with a serious injury in their past.

If Brown were to get injured again in 2009 without a long term commitment from the team, it would be a major blow to his chances of securing a lucrative contract during free agency. Could these kind of thoughts hinder his effort in some circumstances?

It is possible, but Brown doesn't appear to be the kind of player who is thinking of finances first. He appears to be a true team player and gives his best effort on every play. When you see a man of his size hurdling over defenders and dragging multiple players across the turf for several yards, it is difficult to ever accuse him of not giving it his all.

While this might not have been a problem in any case, a long term commitment by the Dolphins toward Brown would allow him to simply focus on football without the spectre of free agency looming in the distance. And that is better for everyone.

[NOTE: For all the Ronnie Brown fans out there, celebrate this good news by downloading a new Ronnie Brown Wallpaper and Desktop Schedule!]

FREE Wallpaper: Ronnie Brown Wallpaper

2009-07-19T20:37:00.000-07:00

Visit NFL Wallpaper Zone for more Miami Dolphins Wallpaper

The third wallpaper in the series features the Dolphins' Jack of All Trades - Ronnie Brown. This Miami Dolphin wallpaper features Ronnie Brown in his iconic pose from 2008's Wildcat coming out party against the New England Patriots.

There are two versions, one with the 2009 schedule and one with out. Your choice. As of right now, I only made one in this size. If you would like another wallpaper size, please comment in this thread with your desired resolution size.

DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Ronnie Brown Wallpaper
DOWNLOAD 1440 x 900 Ronnie Brown Desktop Schedule
DOWNLOAD Ronnie Brown Sig Pic

Like these? Please leave a comment! Thanks.

aWAKEning the Beast: Jason Taylor Sees Potential in Cameron Wake

2009-07-18T11:35:00.001-07:00

The Dolphins just might have a new Disney tale to tell to follow up last year's Cinderella season. The Beauty and the Beast might be rolling into town in 2009.

Jason Taylor, the Miami Dolphins' resident heart throb and authority on the art of sacking opposing quarterbacks, has been giving much praise to teammate and (hopeful) eventual successor Cameron Wake in recent weeks.

“He’s quick, he’s fast, he’s sudden. He’s a strong guy, so you know the explosiveness is going to be there. It’s just a matter of learning this game and the nuances.” Taylor said.

If there is one thing that Jason Taylor knows (other than the cha-cha), its what it takes to be a successful pass rusher in the NFL. In his opinion, former CFL standout Cameron Wake has that ability in spades.

“If anybody looked at me as a 22-year-old kid coming out of Akron and looked at Cameron with where he is right now, they’d say he has a better chance to make it than I did.” Taylor reflected.

Given Wake's current age of 27, it makes sense that he would be ahead of a 22-year-old skinny rookie out of a small school. He is more physically prepared for the rigors of an NFL season given his training and experience running down the fleet-footed signal callers of the NFL's younger, cooler, yet noticeably weaker little brother - the CFL.

At 6'3 and the physical build that would make a Yeti feel meek in comparison, Wake took the Great White North by storm - amassing an incomparable 39 sacks during his two years with the BC Lions.

He won various honors and awards and became the first player in CFL history to win Rookie of the Year and Defensive Player of the Year in the same season.

But that was the CFL... Wake has already failed to latch onto an NFL gig once before, being cut by the NY Giants during his rookie season.

Can the skills he honed and displayed north of the border translate to the quicker and more brutal version of the game down south?

There is some reason for optimism. Warren Moon, Jeff Garcia, Joe Theismann, and Doug Flutie are just a few of the former CFL standouts to make a name for themselves in the NFL. Of course, they tend to share something that Cameron Wake does not - a position on the offensive side of the ball.

Miami fans can even look to their own players for an example of CFL to NFL success. Ricky Williams had a largely forgettable season with the Toronto Argonauts following one of his many NFL suspensions, but came back strong for the Miami Dolphins a season after his Canadian exile.

The CFL is more well known for its wide open offenses than bone crushing defenses, which makes Wake's success and beastly statistics all the more impressive.

Bill Parcells and GM Jeff Ireland certainly saw enough potential in Wake to give him a contract with the Dolphins. Given their extensive track record of success when it comes to finding and developing pass rushers, I would say that is a glowing endorsement of his potential in the NFL.

However, Ireland and Parcells instituted a back up plan in order to ensure that their investment was in good hands, picking up a giant acorn of pash rush wisdom in Jason Taylor to provide additional firepower for the defense and to serve as a mentor to the young guns.

If Jason Taylor can impart even a fraction of the pass rushing knowledge he has acquired over the years onto Wake, I believe that he can use his abundant physical gifts to finally become the beast in the NFL that he always dreamed he would be.

For Miami Dolphins fans, that would be a thing of beauty.

---

Here is a great feature on Cameron Wake:

Catch of the Week: Sabrina Sato (& OG) Got Hands

2009-07-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

A little production note: Going forward, the Catch of the Week will feature one phenomenal catch in Dolphins' history as well as the phenomenal babes you have come to expect. Once the season starts, the best catch by a Miami Dolphins player for that week will get the coveted spot alongside a Fins FTW hottie.

With that out of the way, do you remember Oronde Gadsden? Or as I liked to call him... HANDS.

The man had hands about the size of baseball mitts. In fact, I think the MLB might use his hands as the prototype for all their current gloves.

When you are a wide receiver trying to catch balls from Jay Fiedler, you might as well be an outfielder...

OG's mitts came in handy on one monumental catch that even landed him in the Hall of Fame (if only as a still photograph, and not a bronze bust).

The year was 2002, and this was the Dolphins' chance to break the dreadful curse of the NY Jets. Even with the newly acquired Ricky Williams to trample all over the gang green, we could still count on our fearless Fiedler on the roof to botch the game for us.

And he came damn close...

Jay Fiedler, Dave Wannstedt's favorite son, went back for a pass and chucked the ball right into the awaiting arms of a NY Jets' defensive back when suddenly a great, giant hand emerged to save the day.

Oronde Gadsden. Hero. The Miami Dolphins went on to win the game, and finally break the curse of the New York Jets.

It is only fitting that I should segue from the "hands" to a woman who men can't seem to keep their hands off.

Sabrina Sato
Brazil's Asian Sensation

She is one of the focal points of the popular Brazilian prime time variety show Panico Na TV. Sato is cute, fun, sassy, and sports an amazing body that she is never shy to flaunt for the primetime audience.

Her only imperfection might be the monstrous mole on her forehead. A mole so large and obtrusive that not even our own Jay Fiedler could miss it.

Enjoy!

Bonus Making of the Video: (Caution: LOUD START. Might want to lower volume before you play this video)

Madden 10 SNEAK PEAKS: Dolphins Vs. Raiders (OMG EA SCREWED UP THE SOCKS!)

2009-07-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

I hope you have a cup handy to collect the saliva that is sure to be frothing out of your mouth upon viewing the following videos.

Some intrepid Madden fanatics were able to sneak a handy dandy HD camcorder into E3 (The annual convention of gamer geeks such as myself) and record some SEXY new footage of Madden 10 in all its glory. Pregame, game action, half time and more. And luckily for us Dolphin fans, it features our favorite team!

Even in all its pixelated glory, EA did manage to FAIL in one major aspect of the presentation. They matched up the wrong socks with the wrong uniform!

ANY Dolphins fan worth their bloodstained Jay Fiedler throwback jersey knows that the orange and aqua striped socks go with the AQUA pants, NOT the WHITE pants! Aqua socks are used with the all white uniforms! Good job, EA! There ain't a chance in Hades I'm dropping 60 greenbacks for your appallingly attention-to-detail lacking product!

Just kidding! I'm still going to pre-order the heck out of this game!

EDIT: Well, it turns out my assault upon the good folks at EA and Tiburon might have been out of line after all. According to @FootballDetails, Madden now allows players to delve into the minutia of uniform outfitting that previously only NFL equipment managers could enjoy! That's right, you now have the power to slap on which ever mismatching socks you want on your 3D-rendered gridiron warriors! Sorry EA!

Without further ado, the in-game action:

Relive the Vengeance in the Meadowlands

2009-07-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

NFL.com has posted 15 minute video of the Week 17 Dolphins-Jets matchup which gave the Dolphins the division title and gave Chad Pennington some measure of revenge on his former team. It also sent Favre packing... to Minnesota.

Miami Dolphins Vs New York Jets, Week 17 Video

CONTEST: What's Your Story? Share Your Most Memorable Dolphins Moment, Win a Custom Wallpaper

2009-07-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a story to tell about their time as a Miami Dolphins football fanatic. What's yours?

I will be giving away a CUSTOM Miami Dolphins Desktop Wallpaper, sig pic, or custom (photoshopped) photo featuring you and a Miami Dolphins player of your choice for use on your favorite social networking sites such as Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter.

All you have to do is share your most memorable fan experience by leaving a comment on this post. I will select the best story from the comments posted and select the winner. It can be about getting into a fist fight with a rowdy Jets fan in the Meadowlands, sticking pins into a makeshift Dave Wannstedt voodoo doll, or being present for Marino's first game in the Orange Bowl. Just make it interesting...

I will select a winner on Friday, July 17th.

THIS COULD BE YOU!

PS: Please remember to sign up for my RSS FEED to keep up to date on all the latest dolphins news, commentary, analysis, contests, graphics, babes, and more.

Catch of the Week: Winnepeg Blue Bomber Cheerleaders

2009-07-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

From the outside, the cheerleaders of the Winnepeg Blue Bombers of the CFL appear to be the very essence of Blue Bomber pride and spirit.

Appearances can be deceiving.

The Winnepeg Blue Bomber cheerleaders have a secret and I am here to expose them (the secret that is, get your mind out of the gutter.)

You see, while they sport the colors of the Blue Bombers and cheer on their men as they trudge down the field in the frozen, unforgiving climate north of the border, their hearts and minds are with someone else.

The truth is that the Winnepeg Blue Bomber cheerleaders wish they could be with someone else who would better appreciate their skimpy outfits and give them the love and warmth that they desire.

They wish they were with the Miami Dolphins.

I present to you proof that these seemingly loyal cheerleaders indeed have their hearts, minds, and other assets thinking of the Miami Dolphins.

SCANDALOUS!

EXCLUSIVE Q&A With Davone Bess

2009-07-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

We recently got a chance to sit down with the second year stand out at wide receiver for the Miami Dolphins - Davone Bess.

In between surfing sessions in Hawaii as he unwinds before reporting back to Davie for the start of training camp, Davone was kind enough to sit down with us and discuss last year's improbable rise up the depth chart and the team's improbable march to the playoffs and what we can expect this upcoming season.

I will be typing this blog LIVE as I speak with Davone, so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.

Let's begin:

Odin Gunderson: Hey Davone, glad we could catch up with you. How is Hawaii this time of year?

Davone Bess: A little bit cold, you know? The Eskimos are chill though. I been drinkin some Pepsi's and Coronas with them. They cool.

OG: Wait, you said you are in Hawaii? That doesn't...

DB: What? Do you know who you talkin to? This be Davone Bess. Davone knows Hawaii! Davone is KING of Hawaii. They call me King Comonaplayawanaleia and all the ladies be coming to my 'gloo for some action.

OG: Nice try Lambo... I have traced this call and will be sending this information to the proper authorities.

L_W: But this is Davone Bess. I promise. Please don't. I can prove it. I'll send you a picture of my hair. Come on man. Please? ****!

***

My apologies, it appears that we have been had by an impostor once again. However, if you would like to read a REAL interview with the legit Davone Bess, simply follow this link to read his thoughts on the Dolphins shocking 2008 season and what 2009 might have in store:
Q&A with Davone Bess

Watch Live NFL Games From ANYWHERE With DirecTV's New Laptop & Smartphone App!

2009-07-10T09:39:00.001-07:00

Got a fishing trip in Alaska planned for a Sunday? A wedding in Vegas to attend? Planning to jump out of an airplane - with or without a parachute? Now you can do all that and more without having to worry about missing the next Dolphins touchdown!

DirecTV has brought its popular NFL Sunday Ticket package to your laptop and mobile phone.

Although the iPhone app will be absolutely free of charge, in order to get it to work you will need to put down a nice chunk of change in order to be able to watch Ronnie Brown demolish another poor safety come September.

In order to receive this service, you will need to become a DirecTV subscriber, purchase the @280 NFL Sunday Ticket subscription, AND plop down an additional $100 for the "Superfan" package.

This likely isn't feasible for most schmoes out there (such as myself), but if you are already a DirecTV customer with the NFL Sunday Ticket and would rather be doing something other than entrenched on your coach buried under mounds of nachos doing your best Jabba the Hutt impersonation each Sunday during the fall, this might be the perfect tool for you.

FREE Miami Dolphins Wallpaper: Joey Porter

2009-07-09T01:46:00.001-07:00

The second Miami Dolphins wallpaper in the series features the sometimes fearsome and always loquacious centerpiece of the Miami Dolphins defense - Joey Porter.

Visit NFL Wallpaper Zone for more Miami Dolphins Wallpaper.

Click Here for the entire series of Miami Dolphins wallpapers.

I have provided two versions of the Miami Dolphins wallpaper - one with the Dolphins' 2009 schedule and one without. Please check back soon as I will add more resolution sizes for these miami dolphins wallpapers if requested.

Click for 1440 x 900 Miami Dolphins Wallpaper
Click for 1440 x 900 Desktop Schedule
Click for Sig Pic

If you would like to get this Miami Dolphins wallpaper in a different resolution size, please leave a comment.

Dread in Miami?: Dolphins Speak with CB Mike McKenzie

2009-07-08T17:31:00.001-07:00

Perhaps in an effort to lead the league in players with dreadlocks, the Miami Dolphins have spoken with former Packers and Saints cornerback Mike McKenzie according to the ESPN news ticker and the Miami Herald.

McKenzie, a ten year veteran, had been one of the league's best cornerbacks during his time in Green Bay and New Orleans, but suffered a devastating knee injury at the end of the 2007 season. He recovered in time for the start of the 2008 season but suffered yet another knee injury after seven games.

In 2008, he amassed a grand total of 22 tackles and 1 INT.

He was released by the Saints in March.

The Dolphins were thought to have solved their troublesome situation in the secondary earlier this year when they signed veteran free agent Eric Green and drafted young cornerbacks Vontae Davis and Sean Smith in the first two rounds of the 2009 NFL Draft.

However, if the Dolphins brain trust are putting a feeler out to McKenzie, they must have seen something during the OTAs that they didn't like in regard to the overall makeup of the group. Bringing in another veteran like McKenzie would appear to be a bad omen for Eric Green, as an older, injury-prone veteran such as McKenzie would likely pose no threat to the two roster spots now occupied by Davis and Smith.

If McKenzie were to sign with the Dolphins, that would bring the total of dreadlocked players on the squad to seven. Davone Bess, Chris Clemons, Ernest Wilford, Channing Crowder, Erik Walden, and Randy Starks are currently the only players on the roster sporting the distinctive hairstyle.

It is said that dreadlock style of hair growth received its name due to the sense of dread that came over those who encountered people wearing them. If this is a case, perhaps the Dolphins' strategy is to fill the roster with dreadlocks in an effort to paralyze the opposing team with fear and awe.

There is a precedent to this.

In 2002, Dolphin fans were witnessed to one of the most prolific seasons in dreadlock history. It was during that season that Ricky Williams' signature dreads wantonly slapped opposing defenders out of his path as he bulldozed his way to 1853 yards rushing and 16 touchdowns.

In 2003, Ricky shaved his dreads off, and the rest is history. Like Samson before him, Ricky never quite achieved the same level of awe-inducing power as he displayed with the full head of locks churning all about the field.

Then again, Ernest Wilford wears dreads... The only dread he induced in others in 2008 was in Jeff Ireland for spending millions of dollars on 25 yards of production.

FREE Wallpaper: Chad Pennington (Now W/ Schedule)

2009-07-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

I have been absent a few days, but I come bearing gifts! I have cooked up a new miami dolphins wallpaper featuring everyone's favorite Jets' castaway CHAD PENNINGTON!

And a BONUS Sig Pic!

Here they are:

Click For 1152 x 864 Wallpaper
Click For 1024 x 768 Wallpaper
Click For Sig Pic
Click For 1152 x 864 Desktop Schedule

If you have any requests regarding a player you would like to have featured in the next wallpaper or sig pic, please comment in this thread or reach me at @FinsFTW on Twitter.

EDIT: Also, please sign up for the RSS FEED if you want to keep updated on all the latest FinsFTW graphics and stories.

New Name, Same Shame... lessness.

2009-07-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I decided to start fresh with a new, more approachable name for the blog. Something more marketable and simple (ie, something I could slap on a shirt and actually plausibly expect someone to purchase one). Since the old Finstache blog was only a week old, I figured it was best to make the move now before things went any further... Although, the Lambo_Weezy detective work will probably still be associated with the old domain, but that's fine.

I have changed my twitter account to reflect the change as well. You can now find me @FinsFTW

It also means a new feed (for the third time, lol.)
Please sign up: http://feeds.feedburner.com/FinsFTW

Hope you like the new digs and Happy 4th!

BTW, I am pretty sure most people know what FTW stands for, but if you don't, it is internet language for "For The Win" :)

Catch of the Week: 2 for 1 Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders!

2009-07-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

So I threw my net out to sea, or Google Image Search if you would prefer to call it that, and found a heck of a catch. I reeled in not one, but TWO, cute cheerleaders from the one and only Miami Dolphins.

Unfortunately, it looks like they have caught a bad case of make-a-stupid-squishy-face-for-the-camera-itis (especially the blond) which has plagued millions of otherwise cute girls on social networking sites across the universe.

In any case, a little behind the scenes action featuring Miami Dolphins cheerleaders is never a bad deal. Enjoy!PS: Do Dolphin cheerleaders ever wear anything other than throwback Marino jerseys when they aren't in uniform?

Vontae Davis Is Cleared By Illinois Police, Travels Back to the Future

2009-07-02T16:07:00.000-07:00

The Champaign Illinois Police Department, unable to comprehend the mind-thumping complexities of time-travel, have cleared Vontae Davis from any charges of egregiously excessive noise and operating a motor vehicle with an invalid license.

As for VD2, the alternate reality Vontae Davis from a different time and place, he seemingly has been able to venture back to the place from whence he came, leaving thousands of scientists in our time in a bewildered stupor desperately trying to make sense of it all.

We can only hope that VD2 will return one day to help us during our greatest time of need, and not merely to pester the eardrums of Illinois residents.

Or is VD2 but a prelude of our impending demise?

Oh ****...

Ronnie Brown Packing Up To Leave After 2009?

2009-07-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

When Ronnie Brown came into the league back in 2005, the TV airwaves were consumed with ads featuring the ubiquitous question, "What can BROWN do for you?" While this phrase was originally meant to display how a cargo company with a monotone color scheme could outperform its flashier rivals, the phrase also become a motto of sorts for Ronnie Brown during the 2005 draft and beyond.

Like UPS, Ronnie Brown also had to compete to elevate himself above the flashier names of the 2005 draft class. One of those names was none other than his Auburn teammate and close friend who came equipped with a hell of a catchy nickname - Carnell "Cadillac" Williams.

While the Cadillac was consistently spinning his wheels onto the highlight reels, Ronnie's consistent, workman-like, and often-times pounding style of play provided the fuel to a dynamic and dominant rushing attack which helped drive the Auburn Tigers all the way to an undefeated season in 2004.

Ronnie also had to eclipse the heir to Ricky Williams' Texas throne - Cedric Benson. Although, Dolphin fans wanted no part of any Ricky Williams protege' given the situation at the time.

Brown began to separate himself from the pack at the 2005 NFL combine where he posted a 4.45 40' time. His speed along with his size helped push him toward the top of the (at the time) strong RB crop.

Nick Saban (The backstabbing, Lil' Debbie-eating, conniving, lecherous, deceitful, pint-sized control freak from the Boonies that every fan in Miami thought was God incarnated in the flesh at the time) used his extensive knowledge of the SEC to select Ronnie Brown with the 2nd overall pick in the 2005 NFL draft.

This would be Saban's first decision as head coach of the Dolphins, and it would remain his best following his short-lived, disappointing reign as Miami Dolphins' dictator.

So what DID Brown do for the Dolphins? Well, just about everything.

He has conquered the cries of "bust" from the loyal (and sometimes delusional) fans - and not just once, but several times, as the cries of "bust" rear their ugly heads during almost every season.

He has crawled his way out of the early-season doghouse that each coach had placed him in for some mind-numbing reason each pre-season.

He has returned punts for Cam Cameron's pre-season fail forward fast all-stars.

He has broken tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle after tackle.

He has made safeties wish they were never born to receive the level of national embarrassment that comes with being absolutely demolished and tossed to the ground like Raggedy Andy.

He has racked up astronomical stats and still managed to go winless over a span of several games (Thanks Cam!).

He has at times been the team's best blocker, best runner, and best receiver.

He has torn his ACL, and proceeded to kick rehab's ass into submission, returning to the field at full strength and with no lingering issues in just a few months.

Oh, and he also became the poster boy for the league's hottest new craze in the ferocious WildCat Formation. He was the first player to actually make Bill Belichick (The New England Variety) look like a chump, and send thousands of Boston fans fleeing in shame out of Gillette Stadium for the first time in a decade.

Four years, 3,433 yards, 23 touchdowns, 137 receptions, 1,151 yards receiving, a pro bowl berth, and a whole lot of ass-kicking later, Ronnie Brown might be preparing for his last year as a Miami Dolphin.

Yes, another UPS, the United Parcells Service might be getting ready to send Ronnie Brown packing at the end of the season.

Ronnie Brown's contract expires at the conclusion of the 2009 season, and the team might be willing to part with the all-pro.

It mostly comes down to money. I am sure Sparano and Co. would love to keep a football player of Brown's caliber on the squad, but not at the cost he might come at.

Bill Parcells has always been one to take a blue-light special approach to runningbacks. He believes that as long as you have the hogs up front to do the dirty work, you can find a servicable enough running back just about anywhere.

If you look at his history, he never takes running backs in the first round of the draft, nor does he often pursue big name, big money backs in free agency.

He looks for the young and hungry in the later rounds ala Marion Barber. Or the old and forgotten with something to prove in Ottis Anderson.

The lone exception to this rule that I can conjure up at the moment was when he traded for notorious Dolphin-killer Curtis Martin. Parcells sent a 1st and a 3rd round pick to his former employer in exchange for the services of the future hall of famer.

While Jeff Ireland is the real Dolphins' General Manager, one can assume that he shares a similar philosophy with his boss on this matter.

Ronnie Brown is likely to remain a big ticket name during the 2009 season. With his multi-faceted talents and mastery of the now popular WildCat Offense, Brown should command big money out in Free Agency in 2010. Given that the Dolphins are unlikely to want to tie up such a huge sum of money on a running back nearing the end of his twenties, He will probably try to see what kind of value awaits him out on the market.

And if Brown disappoints in 2009 and fails to reach the level of play that fans and the Dolphins expect of him, he will also likely be gone. As was previously stated, the organization believes they can get solid play at that position at a bargain price, either through the draft or by rummaging through the heaps of discarded backs around the league. Case in point: Patrick Cobbs.

So who will replace the dynamic Ronnie Brown if he leaves in 2010?

Well, there is already a replacement for one of his jobs on the roster - Pat White, WildCat Specialist. Perhaps the drafting of White was a sign that the Dolphins have no plans to keep Ronnie Brown, the current king of the WildCat, past this season. They will get White prepared to usurp the role by having him become Ronnie Brown's 2009 WildCat understudy.

As for who the Dolphins might pick up to take over for Ronnie Brown's other, more important role in the offense? A tandem of Ricky Williams and Patrick Cobbs could be servicable, but I doubt they would be content with an ancient (yet enlightened, and for once, trustworthy) Ricky Williams and a supplementary guy like Cobbs (regardless of the spark he provides to the team in spots) as their only rushing options on what they hope will be their first legit shot at the Super Bowl in 2010.

If you want to find the future of the Dolphins' backfield, start looking at the unheralded, yet tough and consistent, workhorse running backs in the college ranks.

Ronnie Brown, should he leave after the 2009 season, will have entrenched himself as the best running back that the Miami Dolphins have fielded since the 70's (Ricky's 2002 masterpiece excluded).

Fortunately, we still have a full season of Ronnie Brown south beach smack downs to enjoy before he might be off to his next stop on the NFL delivery route.

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Miami Dolphins Sig Pic - Ricky Williams Redemption Song

2009-07-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

Just giving the old blog (only a week old, lol) a little facelift. I will be continuing to change little things here and there over the next few days. If there are any widgets that you think would be a benefit to readers, please let me know!

Anyway, I might as well use this opportunity to offer you all another free miami dolphins sig pic! Being that Ricky Williams was such a huge Bob Marley fan and was seeking his very own redemption for his past actions, I decided to merge the two worlds together for this sig pic. Enjoy it!

All Miami Dolphins sig pics, avatars, or other Miami Dolphins graphics posted here are absolutely free to use on whichever forum you frequent. I would appreciate it if you placed a link to my blog under it as a way to show thanks though!

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Fins FTW Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

Lambo_Weezy Impersonated Davone in REAL LIFE too!

2009-07-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

Now that the Lambo_Weezy saga has reached a national audience, many people are coming forward with their experiences with the con artist formerly known as "Davone Bess AKA Lambo_Weezy". In one interesting account on BallerAlert.com, he mentions that Lambo had been using Bess' identity to frequent clubs in real life.

BallerAlert writes:

We kept in contact and just fell into the friendship zone. A couple weekends ago we hanged out at the club. Every one knew him by Devone the NFL player. So he did not just fool the bitches on twitter he fooled every one on South Beach! He was poping comped bottles and had all the groupies on his dick.

When confronted about his reasons for impersonating Davone, Lambo stated that his reasons for lying was that:

...everyone told him that he looked like Davone. So i am guessing he started believing he really was him.

You can read more about BallerAlert's run-in with the infamous Lambo_Weezy here.

EDIT: I just added a feedburner RSS feed to the blog. If you like the blog, please sign up to have the content sent directly to your RSS reader!

Thanks!

Davone Bess Speaks Out On Lambo_Weezy & More

2009-07-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

The good guys over at Hawaii 1500, Rob & Russ, recently caught up with the real deal Davone Bess and managed to get his thoughts on a variety of topics including his recent victimization by the infamous Lambo_Weezy. Davone doesn't mince words when he discusses the case of Twitter identity fraud.

"It's very frustrating" Davone said. "I've worked very hard to get where I'm at and for this guy to go out of his way to put all this dirt on me, it really just bothers me. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it just bothers me. Because I never did nothing to nobody."

There are several other nuggets of information for Dolfans and Davone fans to enjoy during this interview, including how his new foray into boxing might help him during the upcoming season, his outlook on the 2009 season, and more.

Listen to the complete interview with the REAL Davone Bess

Chad Pennington Challenges Mark Sanchez to a Modeling Duel

2009-06-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

Perhaps envious of the hero's welcome that his younger counterpart and rival has received with his former team, Chad Pennington has been preparing not only to defeat Mark "Dirty" Sanchez on the gridiron, but on the catwalk as well.

This is a video of Pennington's grueling practice for the much anticipated "walk-off" which has been tentatively scheduled for later this summer.

Likely motivated by his disappointing upset loss at the hands of the underdog AJ Hawk in a model-off back in 2007, we have been hearing that Mark Sanchez has taken this challenge quite seriously, devoting 99% of his time to honing his walking technique and creating a unique new "look" which will dazzle the judges and leave Chad Pennington drenched in a flood of mascara.

Some of our spies have reported that he is working on a variation of the much-talked-about "stare" featured in GQ earlier this year:

Sanchez is said to have fully recovered from the horrific injury he suffered during his last walk-off with Packers' LB AJ Hawk. For a replay of the Hawk/Sanchez duel, please view the video below:

It's A Walk-Off

Vegas currently has Pennington's odds of winning the matchup at 50/1.

Dolphins Sign Rookie WR Patrick Turner... And His Beard

2009-06-30T15:35:00.000-07:00

According to the Palm Beach Post, the Miami Dolphins have reached a 4-year deal with the 6-5' WR out of USC.

By all accounts, he has been quite impressive thus far this offseason. If he is able to continue this progress, his height should add an additional element to the already impressive and creative offense that the Dolphins operated last season. Patrick Turner could become the weapon that the Dolphins staff originally envisioned that Ernest "Goes to Camp" Wilford would become.

However, his height is not Turner's most impressive feature. He also sports a beard that is so robust that it would even make Rick Ross shed tears of envy...

Although it is possible that the weight of the mountain of follicles sprouting from his cheeks might add a few seconds to his 40 time, it is the opinion of this author that facial hair and football are never a bad combination. Long live the beard!

Guess Who's Back? The One and Only WEEZY Update!

2009-06-30T00:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, the infamous Lambo_Weezy may be a thing of the past, and you would think with Davone Bess' team of lawyers on his ass, he would be running far, far away from Twitterland. But it seems our favorite Twitter impostor can't seem to stave off the allure of thousands of adoring "followers" following his every move.

So, Mr. Weezy has reincarnated as @The1andonly99. At this juncture, it is not known whether his username is foreshadowing that he will soon shave his head in hopes of impersonating a more famous member of the Miami Dolphins. (He couldn't possibly be that foolish, could he?)

Since he will surely take this profile down once he gets word that we are onto him, I will go ahead and post all the pictures so you can see our favorite impostor in all his glory one last time, for old time's sake.

"Sup. I'm not a Wide Receiver, but I play one on Twitter. Sex?"

"OMG! Davone Bess? Let's do it right now!" -Cool, lets head back to my crib. *minutes later* "WTF? Why are you driving a Pinto?" -"Oh, my Lambo is in the shop. Sorry." "Oh OK! I'm doing it with Davone Bess! DAVONE F***ING BESS!"

Below is the screencap that I took of his resurrected Twitter page:

Click for FULL SIZE

Rest in Peace, Lambo_Weezy. We hardly knew ye...

[NOTE: Thanks go out to Lord_Of_Miami at FH who sent me a link to his new Twitter.]

UPDATE: After investigating some more and following a link to one of the users Lambo communicated with in the above picture to Myspace, I was able to find that same user on Facebook. I looked through the user's 300 or so friends, but could not find someone who matched Lambo.

However, this is where it gets interesting, several of the user's facebook friends were current and former Miami Dolphins players. Players on this user's facebook friends list included OJ McDuffie, Kendall Langford, Troy Drayton, Louis Oliver, Devin Aromashodu, and Santonio Holmes. However, it is possible that this user is only friends with Lambo on Twitter because he still believes he is Davone Bess. It is also possible that this user does not know any of these players personally, and has only friended them on Facebook.

Lambo_Weezy Saga Goes National

2009-06-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

I had promised that the Davone Bess VINDICATED post would be my last blog on the topic, but I didn't really anticipate the story going national. Well, it has, and Señor Weezy is in some serious trouble now. Perhaps this will be a message to all would-be future Twitter impostors, you fake, you pay. Props to Davone Bess for being so proactive in trying to clear his name of the sludge that the impostor had slathered all across his good name while using the popular social networking site.

You can follow the national coverage at the following links:

http://www.profootballtalk.com/2009/06/29/lambo_weezy-isnt-davone-bess/

http://blogs.nfl.com/2009/06/29/another-twitter-imposter/

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9745904/NFL-looks-into-Dolphins-WR's-fake-Twitter-account

On the bright side for Lambo_Weezy, he might get a date afterall... A date in court.

Remember Lambo...

Dolphins Training Camp Dates Announced

2009-06-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

The Dolphins will kick off a myriad of what are sure to be grueling training camp sessions beginning on the morning of August the 2nd.

This is where the path to the playoffs and beyond begins. All the installations, chemistry, and other crucial facets to the Dolphins' 2009 success will be honed and finely tuned during these session. You can be a witness to this transformative proccess.

There is still no word on whether the infamous Lambo_Weezy will make an appearance.

Several of these training camp sessions will be open to the public. They will take place on the following dates. (Note: In the event of inclement weather, some of these dates will be cancelled for the public as the team will be forced to practice in the Bubble - a fan free environment.)

Date	Day	Morning	Afternoon
Aug. 2	Sunday	9 p.m.	5 p.m.
Aug. 3	Monday		2 p.m.
Aug. 4	Tuesday	9 a.m.
Aug. 5	Wednesday		2 p.m.
Aug. 6	Thursday	9 a.m.	5 p.m.
Aug. 7	Friday		2 p.m.
Aug. 8	Saturday		2 p.m.
Aug. 10	Monday	9 a.m.	5 p.m.
Aug. 11	Tuesday		2 p.m.
Aug. 12	Wednesday	9 a.m.
Aug. 13	Wednesday		2 p.m.
Aug. 14	Friday	9 a.m.	5 p.m.
Aug. 15	Saturday	10:15 a.m.
Aug. 19	Wednesday	9 a.m.	5 p.m.
Aug. 20	Thursday	9 a.m.	5 p.m.

Free Miami Dolphins Sig Pic - Jason "The Slayer" Taylor

2009-06-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

Jason Taylor, in his prime, was a slayer of men. Relive the glory years with this sig pic. Who knows, maybe he will display the same level of play he was known for again in 2009.

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Finstache Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

Davone Bess VINDICATED

2009-06-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

And so it ends, with Davone Bess cleared of all charges of douchiness and virtual wrong-doing. Today, Dolphins Public Relations honcho Harvey Greene confirmed to ThePhinsider that the twitter account originally known as Lambo_Weezy (and all subsequent faux accounts) does NOT belong to Davone Bess - WR of the Miami Dolphins.

If you would like to follow the entire saga of the infamous Lambo, please click here.

The impostor had many of us fooled, including yours truly. He got real NFL players, models, party promoters, and even bloggers and reporters to believe he was the real Davone Bess, even though his antics appeared to be at odds with the personality of the Davone Bess Dolfans have come to know over the past year.

Please get the word out about the impostor so no one else can be conned into following the scumbag who was attempting to leech off of Davone's success.

Thanks for everyone's hard work in exposing the fraud. And hopefully this can be my FINAL time reporting on Twitter.

I am glad Davone Bess has finally been vindicated in this matter, as I and several others can remain one of his biggest fans. There is no way I could support a man of the character of "Lambo_Weezy", fortunately for us, the REAL Davone Bess is the antithesis of Lambo.

Now someone just needs to get his Ustream Account taken down!

UPDATE: Lambo_Weezy has returned to his original Twitter username, but has since removed any references to Davone Bess from his profile. Bookem Dan-O!

How the Miami Dolphins Can Thwart Future Twitter Impostors

2009-06-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

In light of the entire "Lambo_Weezy" saga, it has become clear that it is incredibly easy for someone to tarnish the good name of a popular player. All it takes is for a person to convince one REAL NFL Twitter personality that he is the real player, and the masses will follow suit. This was the case of Lambo_Weezy's Davone Bess charade.

These impostors can be dangerous as well seeing as how if they go on unchecked, they can do a lot of harm to a player's image as some of their Twitter impostor's statements begin to make the rounds on message boards, blogs, and even news outlets.

In the case of Lambo_Weezy, he challenged the real Chris Johnson to a foot race (claiming he now ran a 4.2, sending thousands of dolfans' hearts a-twitter) and displayed a brash persona at odds with the humble personality that the real Davone Bess displayed throughout his playing career.

But that wasn't the worst of it. The impostor was seen on his ustream chats asking users to find him women with which he could fornicate with, which would be a problem, seeing as how Davone Bess is married and has a young daughter. These kinds of antics have the possibility of harming players' personal relationships. To make matters worse, this impostor even appeared to be using recreational drugs, and one viewer I spoke with even claims he flashed a gun at one point to the camera. (This must have occured a few days ago, since during the ustream broadcast I tuned into for a sec two days ago, "Davone" claimed his web cam was broken.)

These kinds of things could turn into another Vontae Davis scenario quite easily. Even though Davone Bess wasn't mistaken as having committed a crime, he no doubt does not want to be associated with any of the activities that the impostor was doing in front of hundreds of fans using his name and likeness.

So how can the Dolphins go about thwarting such cases of Twitter identity theft in the future? I believe the only solution would be to put a list of verified Dolphin player Twitter accounts on miamidolphins.com for all to see. This would make it easy for fans to easily crosscheck whether or not the Tweeter they are interacting with is vouched for by the organization. Perhaps they could even set up some predetermined accounts for the players to use.

While the previous case of Twitter identity theft involving Chad Pennington was merely a (a sometimes humorous) nuisance, this latest Twitter impostor could have caused much larger problems for Davone since real players such as Chad Ochocinco, Chris Johnson, and Lendale White believed Lambo_Weezy to be the real Davone Bess. And, his actions, if they were indeed the real Davone Bess, likely would have resulted in some sort of disciplinary action or involvement from the team or league.

As this saga winds down, I again would like to thank all those involved in exposing the Twitter impostor.

And I sure am getting tired of writing about Twitter. I could go for some Twitter bird skeet shooting right about now...

TWITTER TRACKER TWITTER TRACKER TRACK THAT TWEET!

Free Wallpaper: Dan Marino to Chris Chambers

2009-06-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Even though neither of these players play for the Miami Dolphins any longer, I figured this was still worth putting out there for you all to enjoy. I made it back in 2004. Free for anyone to use. Enjoy!

CLICK HERE to download FULL SIZE

Lambo_Weezy: CONFIRMED FRAUD

2009-06-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

This will be my final Lambo_Weezy post except for the one where I report on Davone Bess' response to this whole thing, if there even is a response.

Let there be no doubt, Lambo_Weezy was a SCAM! A SHAM! AN IMPOSTOR!

He was a loser who had a passing resemblance to Davone Bess and used it to manipulate people and make his pathetic life feel a tad more exciting.

Even if the previous evidence wasn't enough to sway you, this new bit should.

Lambo_Weezy has officially changed his twitter account name to @Lambo_Weezy15. If he were indeed the REAL Davone Bess, he would have no need to change his account in order to get away from the bad press.

The charade is over. PLEASE pass this on so Lambo_Weezy15 can no longer continue to tarnish the good name of Davone Bess.

Bess is one of the most humble guys around. A man who does his talking on the field, not on a bogus twitter and ustream account. I just hope this Lambo_Weezy character didn't turn off any of Davone's fans through this scam.

Please RETWEET THIS. LETS SHUT DOWN Lambo_Weezy, Lambo_Weezy15, and whichever other account he changes his name to in the future.

UPDATE: He just changed his name to @Lambo_Weezywee. I am sure he will continue to keep changing it. Please just get the word out about this guy. Don't let any other people be fooled.

UPDATE #2: He is now known as @LamboWeezy

FREE DAVONE BESS!

PS: Thank you to all the Tweeters out there who helped us expose Lambo_Weezy for the fraud he is. Hopefully Chris Johnson and Chad Ochocinco are no longer fooled by this clown.

Lambo_Weezy: Case Closed?

2009-06-28T01:18:00.000-07:00

It looks like Lambo_Weezy is actually in Orange County. And not even Orange County, FLORIDA. The guy is in L.A. Just got this update from The Phinsider:

[Update by Matty I at 4:12 am] Just to add one more piece of evidence that really shouts that "Lambo_Weezy" is not Davone Bess, on June 1at 11:10 pm, the "fake Bess" tweets, "Mondrian is the best hotel in hollywood." Then on June 2 at 3:06 pm, he tweets, "Wat is everybody doing? talk to me I'm bored @ the hotel room thinkin bout goin to the Beverly center in a lil bit." The Beverly Center, by the way, is a mall in Los Angeles. Then at 5:02, this guy tweets about going to USC to play basketball. The problem with all this? Well, the Dolphins had an OTA on June 2 that was open to the media. And Omar Kelly tweets at 10:02 am on June 2, "Davone Bess paired with Ted Ginn as the starting WRs." Yeah - the real Davone Bess was in Florida practicing at the time. This just about seals the deal for me - though I'll wait for official confirmation. [end update]

Spread the word. There is basically no way he can explain this. On top of all the other evidence we have found to support that Lambo_Weezy is a fraud, including the fact that he refuses to take a picture of himself with a sign that reads his username, should confirm once and for all that Davone Bess has been the victim of nefarious doppelganger. Ochocinco, LenDale, and Chris Johnson also fell prey to the infamous Lambo. Hopefully they didn't loan him any money or anything.

Get the word out to @ChrisJohnson28, @OGOchoCinco, and @THEREAL_LENDALE that they are being played by a con artist posing as Miami Dolphins WR Davone Bess.

Google Images Confirms Lambo_Weezy Is An Impostor?

2009-06-28T01:03:00.000-07:00

The proof is in the pudding. Or in this case, the Google Cache.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://static.ustream.tv/videos/1/6/5/2/1652551/114x84.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.ustream.tv/lambo_weezy/schedule&usg=__7QtCrjFCAY4eBu2koBW35jwZfik=&h=84&w=112&sz=3&hl=en&start=5&um=1&tbnid=9boihPvoeTtU7M:&tbnh=65&tbnw=86&prev=/images%3Fq%3DLambo_Weezy%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1B3WZPB_enUS312US312%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

(Thanks go to Lord Of Miami at Finheaven for this find.)

This is a Google cache of Lambo_Weezy's Ustream account. It displays a picture that was originally associated with the account. As you can see, that is NOT Davone Bess. The evidence continues to mount. It is only a matter of time before Lambo_Weezy is exposed.

It was rather impressive that he managed to fool so many people, including Chad Ochocinco, LenDale White, and Chris Johnson into believing that he was the real Davone Bess.

All the while, the real Davone Bess was likely working out and staying in nights with his wife and young daughter while Lambo_Weezy was trying to scrub off his good name and tarnish his image.

More Lambo_Weezy Investigation Updates

2009-06-27T22:07:00.000-07:00

While this entire saga is still making me go...

I do have some updates to report.

First off, still no word from Lambo_Weezy himself. This would suggest to me that he is hiding, since he has been quite active of late. In fact, he tweeted "goodnight" last night at what would have been 6am EST.

Secondly, no response from LenDale White or Chris Johnson either. However, I do have some bits in regard to LenDale. It seems that the Twitter account that claims to be LenDale and interacted with Lambo_Weezy is legit as per these articles as refered to me by user @TRacsTitans31:

http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d810f7361&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true

and

http://myespn.go.com/blogs/afcsouth/0-9-279/Bulluck-expects-this-is-last-season-with-Titans.html

The ESPN article confirms Keith Bulluck's twitter account. From this account, Keith has interacted with ChrisJohnson28 which would make it appear that ChrisJohnson28 is Chris Johnson the RB from the Titans. And since ChrisJohnson28 routinely speaks the Lendale Twitter account I posted earlier, that would appear to make him legit as well.

So both the real Lendale and Chris Johnson appear to believe that Lambo_Weezy is the real Davone Bess.

---

Bdizzle93, a once staunch Lambo_Weezy believer, has now come to believe that the account is fake as well since his father, a diehard dolphin fan, found that the voice Lambo_Weezy was using sounded nothing like Davone Bess in interviews.

Bdizzle also stated that Lambo_Weezy was asking other Twitter users to pick up chicks for him. I highly doubt Davone Bess would have any trouble finding women.

But this leads to another issue. According to @808okiboy Davone Bess is married and had his first child a while back. If this is true, and Lambo_Weezy is really Davone Bess, he will have to answer to more than just the Tuna. I highly doubt a married man would flaunt his cheating ways all over Twitter seeing as how it is such a public forum.

Perhaps the best proof AGAINST Lambo_Weezy being the real Davone Bess is the following tweet I received:

rzayo24 @Finstache ...The account sent a tweet out at like 11:11am and 12:30pm on June 14th...Phins had practice. And 5am nite b4 a chat started

I made an attempt to verify this, but @Lambo_Weezy has now locked his updates to the outside world.

For now, it is still up in the air. But I am still leaning toward the side that Lambo_Weezy is a sham account trying, and somewhat succeeding, to profit off of Davone's fame.

Stay tuned.

UPDATE: The guys over at The Phinsider were able to detail the descrepencies from when Lambo_Weezy was tweeting and Davone Bess was on the practice field. You can check out what they found HERE.

This is getting closer and closer to a cracked case, but we still won't know for sure until the real Davone Bess speaks out on the issue or his agent confirms or denies. I suppose there was always the offchance that Bess had his blackberry stashed in his jockstrap and tweeted in between running routes...

UPDATE #2: I received the following message from @TRUE_Sports which recollects something Lambo_Weezy tweeted about on June 24th...

Lambo_Weezy tweeted:

@boscovega **** im single now so i gotta party it up lol 10:57 PM Jun 24th

If someone could confirm or deny whether Davone was recently divorced, that would go a long way in solving the case.

Daily Dolphins Sig Pic - Ricky Hot & Cold

2009-06-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ricky Williams is a beast in cold weather. Remember the epic Buffalo Beatdown in 2002?

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Fins FTW Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

Ricky Hot & Cold

The Curious Case of Lambo_Weezy

2009-06-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

This Lambo_Weezy Twitter Saga is beginning to get as complicated as a David Lynch film. Most signs point to Lambo_Weezy being a Davone Bess impersonator, however, there are still some things that keep popping up which would tend to support the claim that Lambo_Weezy is indeed the real Davone.

This is where we stand so far:

A few days back Lambo_Weezy pops on the scene. His online persona is flamboyant and gaudy, almost the antithesis of the Davone Bess we have seen in interviews. He even was seemingly charging other people to make appearances at their clubs and parties.

He has held several live streaming chats with fans on Ustream.com at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/me-and-chillin. However, during these live broadcasts, there is only audio, no video. He claims his webcam is busted. I only listened in on a portion of the broadcast. At the time, I did think it sounded like Davone Bess from what I remembered from interviews. However, several posters from Finheaven, a popular Dolphins message board, found the broadcast to feature a personality that was out of character for the Davone they thought they knew. You can see their reaction here.

Anyway, Lambo_Weezy has several legit NFL tweeters convinced that he is the real Davone Bess. Chad Ochocinco @OGOchoCinco is a verified account, meaning, that it has been PROVEN that the real number 85 uses that account. When asked by several tweeters whether or not Lambo_Weezy was Davone Bess, he responded that it was.

My first interaction with Lambo_Weezy was when I tweeted him in regard to a typo. He had responded to another user's question about who was the most impressive rookie he faced in camp and Lambo_Weezy responded with "Steve Smith". At the time, I thought it just might have been a slip up, as he meant Sean Smith, but looking back, I think that was a clue as to the identity of Lambo_Weezy.

Today, I received a tweet from @Bryttani18 which linked me to some pictures on his personal TwitPic.com account. TwitPic is a place that allows you to store photos for use on Twitter. She stated that the photos didn't look like the Davone Bess she had seen in photos, and upon inspection, I concur.

When I confronted Lambo_Weezy on the issue, he promptly deleted the photos in question. Fortunately, @Bryttani18 had saved the photos and passed them along to me. That picture can be found here.

Obviously the photo is NOT of Davone Bess. However, Lambo_Weezy claims that a friend had used his phone to take a picture of himself and that is why it was on his TwitPic account.

I told him that the only way to prove that he was the real Davone Bess was to take a picture of himself holding a sign that read "Lambo_Weezy" under it. If he is indeed the real Davone Bess, this would be the easiest way to prove it. He responded that he would do so later. As of this time, he has not posted any such photo.

Since the photos got out into the Dolphin Twitter fan base, several people have come forth to help provide their assistance in uncovering the truth. @ThePhinsider put a call into Davone's agent, so we should have the answer once he hears back from him. Additionally, Ethan Skolnick of the Sun-Sentinel has picked up on the story. It won't be long until the truth regarding Lambo_Weezy surfaces.

During one of the broadcasts, several users stated that Lambo_Weezy had a conversation with LenDale White over the phone.

I received the following tweets from a Titans fan who seemed to confirm that LenDale did in fact speak with Davone, and that those accounts were confirmed by the Tennessean. He stated the following:

Ryan915 @Finstache and he said yeah it was.. LenDale and CJ's twitters are confirmed by the Tennessean too. I don't know what's going on here.
28 minutes ago from web

Ryan915 @Finstache If you read LenDale's updates he replied to what I asked he just didn't press reply. I asked if that was him on the phone

I have since tweeted both Lendale (@THEREAL_LENDALE) and Chris Johnson(@ChrisJohnson28), but have not yet received a response. However, I am even beginning to think that THESE accounts are fake. If it weren't for the fact that the Tennessean supposedly backed them up, I would lump them in with Lambo_Weezy.

My reasoning is as follows: All these accounts use photography that anyone could find simply by doing a google search. Most of the verified NFL tweeters such as Chad Johnson and Warren Sapp have used photos they have taken themselves from their camera phones, etc.

The fact that Chad Ochocinco vouched for Lambo_Weezy remains the most perplexing aspect of this whole saga.

In any case, the truth will surface shortly. There are too many people on this case for this charade to persist much longer.

Be sure to check back for more updates.

BTW, I kept imagining the hardcore TWITTER TRACKER voice from the Tonight Show while writing this story...

TWITTER TRACKER TWITTER TRACKER TRACK THOSE TWEETS!

And of course be sure to follow the Twitter drama as it unfolds here: http://www.twitter.com/finstache.

@Lambo_Weezy NOT Davone Bess?

2009-06-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

After I posted the last story regarding Twitter and its implications for the Parcells Regime, an intrepid tweeter by the name of @Bryttani18 linked me to a picture Lambo_Weezy had posted of himself on twitpic.com. While the person could pass for Davone Bess at a dark nightclub, mimmicking his signature dreads, it did not appear to me to be the same person. After I RTd the messaged to @Lambo_Weezy, the pictures mysteriously disappeared.

This, in conjunction with the fact that he never used video during his Ustream broadcasts, leads me to believe that in fact there is someone posing as Davone Bess on Twitter, and perhaps in real life. Lambo_Weezy responded to several requests to appear at clubs and parties by asking for money in return.

The one facet of this story that is still a bit of a mystery is the fact that the REAL Chad Ochocinco vouched for @Lambo_Weezy as the real Davone Bess. I tweeted him regarding the evidence we found as to his stolen identity, and am awaiting a response.

You can follow all the action at http://www.twitter.com/finstache

UPDATE: @Bryttani18 managed to save these images before they were deleted. Lambo_Weezy is Davone Bess? See for yourself! BUSTED!

UPDATE 2: @Lambo_Weezy direct messaged me with the following: "Lambo_WeezyMy friend used my phone with those pics, wat u did was not cool @ all if u seen all the pics the had difftent people on them"

I couldn't direct message him back, so I tweeted him back telling him he could resolve this issue by simply posting an image of himself holding a sign that read "Lambo_Weezy". I will keep you updated if he takes up the challenge.

UPDATE 3: He responded with "I will later". Keep posted.

PLEASE RETWEET THIS SO WE CAN CLEAR DAVONE's NAME!

How Long Before the Parcells Regime Puts a Gag on Dolphin Tweeters?

2009-06-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

Twitter. By now, you have likely heard of it. By the name of it, you would think it was a hot new toy for toddlers, or a new female pop group, however, names can be deceiving. In actuality, Twitter is a communication platform so powerful that it has the potential to topple kingdoms.

Twitter has been gaining steam for months as a popular way for marketers to reach and interact with their customers, and for news outlets to get an instant pulse on the events of the day, the hour, the second, and the millisecond. Twitter is the world's largest focus group, chat room, news desk, and water cooler wrapped into one incredibly simplistic web platform.

Recently, the power of Twitter has even been harnessed for the first time to support an underground movement to defeat fascism and defend Democracy. Iranians have been using Twitter as a means to show the world the injustices they are facing in their land, even after the oppressive government has tried to shutdown all communication pathways to the outside world.

When Twitter isn't functioning as the Web 2.0 version of the Underground Railroad, it is often being used by fans to contact and interact with the subject of their fanatical idolatry. It seems that anyone that is anyone is twittering, tweeting, or twitting these days.

Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk for the cool kids!) has set up a micro virtual kingdom on Twitter, being one of the first celebrities to truly use the platform to its potential. When he isn't busy posting pictures of his MILF wife's ass for his adoring fans to see, he is retweeting messages concerning social causes, updating fans on his latest projects, and communicating with his fan base.

In recent weeks, we have seen an influx of sports stars enter the world of Twitter. Taking a cue from those who cover them, several well known sports stars have begun using Twitter as a means to reach their fans and further quench their indomitable egos. From Shaq (@The_Real_Shaq) to the NFL's chirpiest WRs Terrell Owens(@TerrellOwens81) and Chad Ochocinco (@OGOchoCinco), Twitter has become a virtual field for trash talking and excessive celebrations.

And best of all, there are no refs to take their fun away.

However, this wild west mentality might soon change.

Social networking sites have already landed several athletes from the sports world into steaming tar pits. A player at the University of Texas got busted for some racist remarks he made on his Facebook status last year. A little-known cornerback for the Philadelphia Eagles also got in a bit of a bind when a photo of himself chortling next to what he would have us believe was a tobacco bong and a line of sugar was posted on Facebook. Just prior to the NFL draft, there was a stir regarding an apparently racist Facebook group that several USC stars joined, but was since deemed to be an inside joke within the team. While several players managed to free themselves from the scorching social tar they found themselves in, others were buried under the pressure.

Twitter, unlike Facebook, poses an even bigger potential pitfall for players since their tweets are not only limited to their close friends. The entire world can read their tweets. From the embarrassing "Bout 2 take a dump." to the "I'm in the OC. Hit me up y'all!", its all there for every fan, reporter, and coach to see.

Be careful what you tweet, or it will be twittering its way onto the next SportsCenter broadcast. Twitter is one little birdie that can't be subdued.

While freedom of speech is the foundation of our Democracy and the right of every free human on the planet, it also poses a dilemma for coaches and organizations that hope to keep their secrets, issues, and strategies in-house.

The Miami Dolphins, under the stewardship of Bill Parcells, has been known for their less-than-democratic policies on the media. Loose lips sink ships, and the Tuna isn't too fond of the water, despite his namesake.

Parcells, Ireland, and Sparano do their best to control the messages and communications coming out of their complex. In the recent war of words between LB Channing Crowder and Rex Ryan, someone made it known that it was time to drop it because the usually talkative Crowder became mute as a mouse within days.

Now, the twittering menace is seeping into their complex like a bad infestation of termites - threatening to take down the restrictive media structure they have so painstakingly built. Yes, some Miami Dolphins have discovered Twitter and now have a direct line to the masses.

While rookie Sean Smith (@SeanSmith4) has mostly just been updating fans on how he is adjusting to the NFL and Miami, WR Davone Bess (@Lambo_Weezy) has taken a far different approach.

[UPDATE: Lambo_Weezy appears to be an imposter. I asked him to explain some pics on his TwitPic account and he removed them. Although the pics looked somewhat like Davone, it didn't look like the real Davone. However, he looked close enough that he probably fools people at clubs to think he is the real Davone. In any case, the gist of this story still holds. I will update this story again once I find out the true identity of Lambo_Weezy. Read about how TwitterNation busted the PHONY]

Davone pounced on the Twitter scene like he was orchestrating the Wildcat in Foxborough - pulling no punches. Yesterday, Lambo challenged Titans RB Chris Johnson (@ChrisJohnson28) to a foot race. The Dash of the duo formerly known as Smash & Dash took offense to this challenge, stating, and I RT (RT = ReTweeting which basically means Quote) "Feel insulted because somebody want to race me who ran a 4.64 i ran 4.24 do the math kill me."

Since this exchange, Lambo (Davone) has upped the stakes, saying that they should broadcast the race and the loser must shave their dreads off for charity. OGOchoCinco, the reigning king of NFL Twitterland, appeared to reach out to the NFL Network to air the duel.

But Davone took the social networking thing to the next level when he posted a link to a Ustream feed so that fans and twitter followers could hear him live. While Ustream generally allows video to stream as well, Davone for whatever reason did not make use of this feature, as only his voice could be heard during the broadcast.

Many Dolphin fans took to the message boards to debate whether Lambo_Weezy was the real Davone or not, since some of his antics seemed out of character for the reserved nature of his public persona. However, OGOchoCinco (The verified REAL Chad Ochocinco) seemed to confirm that @LamboWeezy was indeed the real Davone Bess.

A man has every right to spend their free time however they see fit as long as it falls within the realm of legality and social mores, but they must also act in a responsible way if they don't want the authority of their employer to whack them upside the head.

It is for this reason that platforms such as Twitter are so dangerous for young athletes and so threatening to tight lipped organizations such as the Dolphins.

As an organization, the Miami Dolphins regulate the amount of interaction their players have with the media and with fans. However, Twitter bypasses this control. Through Twitter, players can communicate directly with local reporters, rival players, and fans in Ohio with the click of a button.

How long will the Parcells Regime continue to live with this social infestation in their house before they begin to clean it up? They will likely try to reign it in soon before more players start jumping on the Twitter-wagon.

However, on a broader note, does an organization have the right or the power to control how their employees leverage these new social technologies?

Or is it their duty as leaders of their organization to keep things like Twitter from toppling their kingdom too?

Until we tweet again, this is @Finstache signing off.

Poo-Tee-Weet?

Daily Dolphins Sig Pic - Ronnie Brown Feature Back

2009-06-27T02:28:00.000-07:00

Ronnie Brown has proven that he is one of the premier backs in the league. Support Ronnie B with this sig pic at whichever forum you participate at.

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Fins FTW Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

Catch of the Week: Fox/Dolphin Hybrid

2009-06-27T00:34:00.000-07:00

Introducing a new feature on Finstache. Every weekend I will post my catch of the week! A little Fin & Ass for the weekend!

Our first FINTASSTIC babe is none other than Megan Fox, the Transformers hottie who has led to the transformation of millions of body parts across the world. Even with a deformed dorsal fin sticking out of her back, she is still the sexiest creature on two feet. Enjoy!

For more babes with Miami Dolphins info, check out FinsNation. Got to give them some cred for the inspiration.

Miami Dolphins on Twitter

2009-06-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

While it may have one of the least masculine names ever associated with a communication device, many football players have taken to the social networking phenomenon in order to interact with fans and each other.

Some members of the Miami Dolphins have even joined the Twitter Revolution.

Miami Dolphins Players on Twitter Include:

Brandon London

http://www.twitter.com/BLONDONgotSWAG

Sean Smith

http://www.twitter.com/SeanSmith4

Matt Roth

http://www.twitter.com/mattroth98

I will update this list once I find more players on Twitter. Let me know if you find any more so I can add them on.

A user by the name of Lambo_Weezy convinced several people that he was Davone Bess, but he turned out to be a hoax. Davone Bess is now looking to press charges.

Introducing the Finstache Youtube Channel!

2009-06-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is finally here! The Finstache Youtube Channel - soon to be filled with unique Miami Dolphins insight and analysis from yours truly.

http://www.youtube.com/Finstache

In the meantime, I am putting together some playlists of the best Miami Dolphins videos on the youtubes. Please subscribe so you won't miss out on any of the fun!

Daily Dolphins Sig Pic - No Name Defense

2009-06-26T15:35:00.000-07:00

An homage to the stellar defense of the early 1970s Miami Dolphins defense. The members of No Name Defense never got the recognition they deserved, but they were an integral part of the the Perfect Season. Honor them with this sig pic.

All Miami Dolphins sig pics, avatars, or other graphics posted here are absolutely free to use on whichever forum you frequent. I would appreciate it if you placed a link to my blog under it as a way to show thanks though!

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Finstache Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:
No Name Defense

ZERO Dolphins in Prisco's TOP 50

2009-06-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

In CBS Sports Pete Prisco's annual selection of the top 50 players in the NFL, he again neglected to place a single Miami Dolphins player on the list. Well, at least he knows we will all hate him for it as he placed a disclaimer in the opening paragraph of the article. Good looking out, Pete! But, that's how it works in the media... Create a controversial list of top whatever-the-****s, omit good players from teams with huge fan bases, and watch thousands of fools like me link to the article in outrage and receive oodles of free traffic! Prisco's got the formula down!

In any case, some Dolphins DID make it as "runner-ups". Joey Porter and Jake Long both just fell short of making the highly esteemed list.

So which Dolphins players ARE worthy of being considered a TOP 50 player in the NFL in 2009?

Candidates:

Chad Pennington
Chad Pennington might just have the biggest brain of any QB in the NFL. Unfortunately, he might also have the smallest arm. No, it's not like he has a gimpy raptor-like deformed arm. It's just that he doesn't have that arm strength that allows guys like Manning and Brady to sling the ball for 50 yards on a rope with consistency. In any case, his mental prowess and immense leadership skills helped elevate the play of the entire Miami Dolphins offense in 08, and figures to do the same in 09.

Ronnie Brown
Did you hear? He once scored five touchdowns in a single game! And this wasn't at Polk High either (Sorry Al Bundy)... He did it against the "dynasty" New England Patriots. Ronnie Brown sprung the Wildcat on them and mauled them into submission in week 3 of the 2008 season. His unique skill set made the Wildcat a smashing success, but many people seem to forget his stellar performances prior to 2008.

In 2007, while the Dolphins were making their epic run at infamy, Ronnie Brown was tearing up the league, on way to an assured Pro Bowl berth, when unfortunately he ended up tearing up his knee instead. Now a year removed from ACL surgery, Ronnie should once again dominate the AFC East and the NFL in 2009.

Joey Porter
In 2008, Joey Porter finally lived up to his monstrous contract by posting some monstrous stats and contributing to some key victories along the way. Joey was back in a system that suited his style of play, and it showed. Porter finished the season with 47 tackles, 4 forced fumbles, and 17.5 sacks. Some of those sacks, such as the one against San Fransisco in the waning moments of the game, helped seal the victory. His fiery attitude and leadership style also added a bit of nastiness and fierceness to the defense that was sorely lacking in previous years.

Porter looks to build upon his stellar 2008 performance and once again harass opposing QBs. Along with Jason Taylor, Porter looks to show that the poor performance by the sackmaster duo in 2007 was a fluke brought about by inept coaching. In 2009, they hope to finally fulfill the dreams and visions that many Dolfans had of J-Peezy and JT ravaging QBs across the league.

Jake Long
"The Pillar of Defense", as I like to refer to him after Jeff Ireland's pre-draft freudian slip, was a critical element in the success of the Dolphins' 2008 offense. Jake Long might as well have been a real pillar entrenched in the ground because opposing defenders rarely were able to garner enough leverage to move him. He may have let up a sack or two, but I don't recall any. His hard work as Chad Pennington's personal bodyguard paid off in the form of a Pro Bowl selection in his first year of service. Given the amount of hard work Jake puts into learning his craft and honing his statuesque body, I don't see Jake's Pro Bowl level of play dropping any time soon.

Will 2009 bring any new Dolphins into the realm of the Top 50? What are your thoughts, Dolfans?

WR Brandon London Modeling His Way Out of Miami?

2009-06-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

In a new article at the Sun-Sentinel, Mike Berardino delves into WR Brandon London's career as a part-time model.

Quick Brandon, strike a pose!

Oop... Wrong pose if you want to make this team buddy... You saw what happened when the imperial Tuna caught wind of Jason Taylor's metrosexual part-time gig. He got the boot and he was a year removed from NFL Defensive Player of the Year! As a borderline 4th WR and Special Teams Player, Brandon should be devoting all his time to honing his craft on the field if he doesn't want to be the latest victim of the ruthless Parcells regime.

All this being said, London will likely stick. I still remember the hustle he showed during the horrific Baltimore meltdown last year in the playoffs when he ran down Ed Reed for almost 50 or 60 yards after one of his multiple INTs to knock the ball out of Reed's hands. Unfortunately, he only knocked the ball out after Ed Reed was a yard past the endzone. However, He displayed heart by never giving up on the play.

I have a feeling Parcells & Sparano noted that inspired play of determination as well. For now though, if he truly wants to remain a part of the Miami Dolphins, London needs to show his skills on the field, not on the catwalk.

Daily Dolphins Sig Pic - Jason Taylor Terror - 06.19.09

2009-06-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jason Taylor has been terrorizing defenses for years. Now he is back to do it again! Wear this Jason Taylor Miami Dolphins sig pic to support JT on his mission to reclaim his title of sackmaster and decimate the AFC East in 2009!

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Finstache Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

Vontae Davis Arrested After Warping the Spacetime Continuum

2009-06-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

It's June 9th as the sun begins to set over Champaign, Illinois. The faint sounds of birds chirping in the distance, leaves rustling in the brisk Midwestern breeze, and the hypnotizing "whoosh" of far-off traffic cascade through the streets on this beautiful early summer's night. All's well in Champaign.

Suddenly, an insidious reverberation pierces the eardrums of nearby pedestrians.

Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee

Onlookers fall to their knees in despair. A great thunderous tremble accompanies the shrieking sound. A tornado? An Earthquake? A herd of raging rhinos? In Champaign? Couldn't possibly be...

Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee

Passers-by search frantically for the source of the horrific sound. Over the horizon, the sum of all their fears is realized. An SUV with 20 inch rims comes into focus. The cacophony being emitted from the monstrous vehicle sets off nearby car alarms and shatters windshields and tympanic membranes. Lil Wayne continues his musical onslaught upon the innocent bystanders.

Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee (Yea)

And I know she the law, and she know I'm the boss

And she know I can hide a-bove the law

And she know I'm raw, she know it from the street

And all she want me to do is **** the police

Talkin' bout...

Perched behind the wheel - flat-brimmed hat slightly off-kilter - sits Vontae Davis, former superstar of the Fighting Illini and promising young rookie of the Miami Dolphins. Pedestrians look on in horror as Vontae unleashes the full power of his subwoofers upon their feeble ears. The pounding bass causes bystanders to shake violently in rhythm - as if shaken by some giant, invisible maraca player. A small dog does back flips involuntarily.

Vontae looks on, unabashed, bouncing his head up and down to the stylings of Mr. Wayne.

Another sound enters the spectrum of sonorous insanity. It is barely audible through the super-sonic wall of sound surrounding the SUV, but this sound is accompanied by flashing lights. Victims stand dazed, wondering to themselves if they had unwittingly ingested hallucinogens and are, in fact, standing on a dance floor.

Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee Wee-O-Weee-O-Weee-O-Weee

The sounds, mercifully, come to an end. Salvation had arrived and it was clad in blue.

After several minutes of Vontae Davis trying to justify his reprehensible behavior to one of Champaign's finest, justice is finally served. Vontae Davis is arrested for driving without a valid license and unnecessary vehicular noise.

Simultaneously, 1,262 miles away, Vontae Davis is in the locker room of the Dolphins' Training Facility in Davie, Florida preparing to head home after a long day of running drills during OTAs.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to enter the Twilight Zone.

---

There can be only one conclusion; Vontae Davis has managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible. He has broken the barriers of time and space.

Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to figuring out how Davis managed to pull off something of this magnitude. It may never be given any satisfactory answer. Scientists will surely examine this case with great curiosity, but they will fail to find any suitable conclusion as to how Vontae Davis managed to be in two places at once. This figures to remain an enduring mystery that will continue to baffle even the most brilliant of minds for years to come.

Even though I cannot hope to conjure up the amount of mental power necessary to tackle this problem satisfactorily, I will put forth my best theories nonetheless.

Theory #1: VONTAE DAVIS IS A MUTANT

Vontae is naturally gifted, that much is evident. However, he could be hiding the true extent of his natural gifts. There have long been rumors of men born with incredible powers. Through the years, some have even been captured and exploited for monetary gain by circuses and reality tv shows. The street magician known as David Blaine is rumored to be one such case.

This being the case, it is reasonable to assume that Vontae only uses a portion of his powers on the field as to not draw attention to himself, lest he be captured and studied in some lab by prodding scientists wishing to unlock the genetic code behind his powers. Even using but a percentage of his powers, he has been able to outperform even the most talented of athletes. If he is a mutant, he may have been born with a power which gives him the ability to travel at incredible rates of speed or teleport great distances.

Such powers would give him more than enough time to travel from South Florida to Illinois and back in a span of a few hours. However, this would not explain how the Illinois Police Department had another Vontae Davis in custody at the same time that he was in Florida.

My theory: Using his super-speed or teleportation powers, he managed to decrease his mass and slip through the bars of his jail cell, print a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself at a local Kinkos, and place the cut-out back in his jail cell and escape to Florida undetected.

If Vontae is indeed a super-powered mutant, the Miami Dolphins got a steal with the 25th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft.

Theory #2: VONTAE DAVIS IS REALLY, REALLY SMART AND TURNED HIS SUV INTO A TIME MACHINE

GREAT SCOTT! Vontae may have done it. He may have successfully invented the first vehicle capable of traveling through space-time. Kudos to the University of Illinois Physics Department. That "Intro to Physics" class looks like it paid off... BIG TIME!

How did Vontae do it? It could be in the sub-woofers... Perhaps the sub-woofers emit a frequency so powerful that it creates a wormhole, thus allowing Vontae to drive his SUV through two points in the space-time continuum, coming out on the other end at a different place and time.

Perhaps, upon heading home from workouts in Davie, Vontae decided to cruise down A1A to unwind a little. However, upon reaching South Beach, he was confronted by a massive traffic jam. Vontae, undaunted, decided to do some cruising at his old stomping grounds, cranked up the juice, and off he went to Champaign.

Perhaps, this was actually a Vontae Davis from an alternate dimension! That would explain the two Vontaes. The Vontae Davis in the jail cell in Illinois was actually a time-traveling Vontae from an alternate universe.

It has been postulated by physicists that there may be an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of possibilities existing parallel to each other. Perhaps, one such alternate dimension, Vontae Davis being a superstar physicist at the University of Illinois, instead of a superstar defensive back, modified his SUV to travel through time, and ended up in Champaign on another plane of existence.

Unfortunately for Bizarro Vontae, it appears that time-travel is excessively noisy, and thus, against the law in our Universe.

Theory #3: VONTAE DAVIS IS DIVINE

NFL scouts and amateur NFL draft analysts have long noted that Vontae Davis has the physique of a god. However, none of them might have realized how truly on the mark their observations might have been until now.

Gods are not constrained by the limits of time and space. Perhaps, like the Greek God Zeus, Vontae is actually a divine entity who has come down from the heavens and taken human form in order to embarass feeble mortals with his immense athletic prowess and copulate with copious amounts of women.

Being the supreme talent evaluator that he is, Bill Parcells might have somehow clued in on the divinity of Vontae Davis. Afterall, Vontae shares a similar ferocious style of play which was first demonstrated by the demigod Lawrence Taylor. Perhaps, Bill Parcells himself is the incarnation of an all-powerful, all-knowing god. That would certainly explain his astounding ability to turn feces into gold.

The gods are amongst us, and they are here to judge us in the form of professional athletes. Think twice before you foolishly accuse another one of steroid use, lest you feel the wrath of the gods above.

If Vontae is a god, he likely split himself in two, creating a clone of himself to occupy the jail cell in Illinois, as he ventured back down south to participate at Dolphins camp the following morning.

---

While we could theorize for days as to how Vontae Davis could accomplish this miraculous feat, we, unlike Vontae, are slaves to time. Time only goes one way for us - quickly forward and unconcerned with our plight. As such, we must move on from this issue, even as we look back in wonder.

Although, thinking back on it now, some punk could have snagged Vontae Davis' wallet a few months back and impersonated him when he got pulled over for a noise violation. The Illinois Policie Department could have failed to notice the fraudulent act of identity theft and posted it on their website. Following this blunder, several newspaper journalists in a wild craze to break some news before their competitors beat them to it might have reported that the real Vontae Davis of the Miami Dolphins was arrested without doing their due dilligence.

Nah... That's just too unbelievable...

Daily Dolphins Sig Pic - What Can Ronnie Brown Do For You? - 06.19.09

2009-06-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

It is my goal to provide you - the Miami Dolphins faithful - with some unique and high quality Miami Dolphins forum signature pics for use on dens of intense Miami Dolphins conversation , colloquially known as Miami Dolphins forums - most notably, FinHeaven.com and ThePhins.com.

Just slap this code under it:

Courtesy of the Finstache Miami Dolphins Blog

Miami Dolphins Sig Pic of the Day:

What Can Ronnie Brown Do For You

The Dolphins Roundup - 06.19.09

2009-06-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

The latest news and insight from the 3 most prominent sources of Dolphins intel: The Palm Beach Post, The Miami Herald, and the Sun-Sentinel. Please excuse the occasional quasi-witty or faux-witty remark.

Palm Beach Post Headlines
Dolphins agree to terms with 6th Rounder Andrew Gardner
Formidable lineup of WRs will test the Dolphins from Day 1
Sun-Sentinel Headlines
Miami Dolphins: Jason Ferguson's role
Miami Herald Headlines
In typical Herald fashion, there is no actual Dolphins news to be found today, but instead a huge picture of a hot chick to distract all their male readers into believing they actually have content worth a damn. (Hmm... I could learn a thing or two from them)
SuperModel Giselle Bundchen Impregnated by the Seed of He Who Will Not Be Named

Welcome

2009-06-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

This is a blog dedicated to all things Miami Dolphins and the NFL. You may ask, "Why the mustache theme? How could you desecrate the sanctity of the Miami Dolphins logo with such an abomination!?"

The reason is simple. NOTHING symbolizes grit, toughness, and unwavering determination like a a hearty bushel of masculinity above a man's upper lip.

You need only ask the hundreds of vanquished Dolphins' foes over the years to get a clear sense of the true power of the stache. Whether it was the menace lurking in the shadows of Csonka's facemask as he demolished any man who dared step into his path, or the gigantic caterpillar of death which perched upon Kim Bokamper's lip daring opponents to cross the line and feel the wrath of the Killer B's, or Tony Sparano's wiseguy follicles beckoning the rivals to sleep with the fishes, the mustache has struck fear into the hearts of countless men who have faced the Dolphins for it was a harbinger of their impending doom.

Even lesser men have called upon the mustache to give them strength, even if it failed. Who could forget Dave Wannstedt's crooked stache which tried so desperately to prop up the weakness of the man who had grown it. In fact, the mustache was the only thing which gave him even an ounce of credibility. Without it, he would have been Cam Cameron.

OK, enough about mustaches. As the season approaches, I hope to give you a unique look at things going on with the Miami Dolphins and around the NFL.

Cheers.